Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the NFL draft as much as the next guy, but I just couldn’t be bothered to try to figure out what a left tackle from Central Arkansas runs in the 40, and how that affects his standings in the 5th round of the draft.

Just call me the “Anti” Mel Kiper Jr.

To me, the NFL draft is something I leave to those fans that are analytical, persistent, and bored with the off-season.

Now, I know a lot of these fans, who we warmly refer to as “Draftniks”, and they are valued fans just like the rest of us, its just that they have this affinity for meaningless stats of obscure players. The “Draftniks” take pride in their work and research, and tend to scoff at those who question their undying devotion and intent interest into the draft. And I can see why… kind of…

If you think about it, the NFL draft is like no other…

Nowhere else in the world of sport do players drafted have such an immediate impact on their team’s performance, dynamic or overall success that season. Players drafted in the 1st and 2nd round of the NFL draft are consistently on the field for their teams and often are playing key roles in their successes, or lack there of. Also, in the NFL draft there are ALWAYS going to be sleeper picks that end up coming out of nowhere to tear up the league (only other sport that can compare to that one is baseball), cueing up the proverbial “I’ll show you all what I can do, and make you pay for passing on me in the draft” storylines.

So those simple reasons alone make the NFL draft like no other, and would explain why there are so many NFL draftniks out there, as compared to the other sports.

(And don’t ever try to tell me that the other sports have as many impact players come out of their drafts. The NBA, NHL and MLB seem to be only drafting based on potential or upside these days, with MLB being the original perpetrator of that crazy scheme. Now that high schoolers are joining the NBA, it has become even more of a joke. And hockey? Well, there are too many teams in the league, which has severely diluted their talent pool, and there are just too many Europeans drafted these days.)

Anyway, now that I have stated why the NFL draft is the best, and why I can see how these crazy fans get so into it, let me give you my reasons for not joining the ranks of the “Draftniks”…

1. Nobody really knows anything.

Ok, so Mel Kiper claims to have all the answers, but really, what the hell does he know? Mel can throw out his numerous lists of top QB’s, top RB’s, top DE’s or top OL’s, but really, when it comes down to it, what’s to say that this 6’1” 195lb RB from Northern Alaska isn’t going to be the next Gale Sayers? Can Mel really tell me that for sure? No. And as for all those “Mock Drafts” out there, they are usually nothing more than mindless regurgitation of other people’s lists, with no real bearing on what will happen.

“I think that with the 10th pick, the Vikings will select that speedster out of Florida with the troubled past, just so that they have more speed on the outside, and then he will push Randy Moss to work harder…”

yyyyeeahhh…. rrrrrriiiggghhhhht…..

I just kill myself laughing when I see those asinine comments by some supposed “expert”, or it’s even better when they start stating the glaringly obvious…

“I think that the Colts will have to draft some defensive players here, because they were last in the league in points allowed in 2001”

Jeez, thanks for the insight…

2. Draft picks are traded like “Pokemon” cards these days.

“Ok, so with the 124th overall pick (whom the Jaguars got from the Packers, via the Dolphins, in return for future considerations for their coach, who brought it over when he was fired by the Raiders in 87 as a consolation gift, traded from the Steelers) the Jaguars will trade the rights to Joe Schmoe to the 49ers, for their 113th pick in the 2008 draft”

I don’t really care HOW they got the pick; I only care WHO they picked and WHAT that guy can do for that team.

Sheesh…

3. There is WAY too much over-analyzing going on.

Don’t tell me WHY a guy’s stock has fallen or risen since his senior year in high school; just tell me what he can do, and why a team should draft him.

4. All the over-analysis kills any drama that the draft may have.

Watching the draft on TV is not only confusing, its annoying, considering the fact that your given panel of “experts” lay out their choices for who they think will be picked next and why, not to mention the numerous graphics and endless tickers going across bottom of the screen. I am all for information, but often times these watching these drafts just makes me tired.

(Did I just type that? How old am I? Oh my God, I have just become my father… Somebody gimme a call, cause I have to go out and drink myself into forgetting that I just said that…)

5. It’s the off-season people!

I know that a lot of my die-hard buddies will not like this comment, but I still have to mention it. It IS the off-season for the NFL, and I am usually doing the following things at the time of the draft: recovering from March Madness, gearing up for the NBA playoffs, enjoying the NHL playoffs, following my baseball fantasy team or playing golf.

Sorry folks, even old SuperZim needs to take a breather from the NFL once in a while, know what I mean?

So, I guess that is why I am not a draftnik, and probably never will be, that is unless the process of evaluating players gets a lot more simple, the analysis gets a lot less mundane and watching it on TV gets a lot less tiring…

Whew, I’m tired just thinking about it…

Until Next Time…