Well readers, I’m ba-ack! After a one-week hiatus due to some personal matters, I am back in action! I must admit that I missed last week’s games, and that only made me tune in closer this week… “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” they say, and let me tell you, for me, when it comes to the NFL, it couldn’t be more true!

Anyway, enough rambling about how much I missed you guys and gals, let’s get on with the Top Ten!

Number 10

A very wise friend of mine told me last season that, and I quote, “Dude, don’t bet on Washington to beat Dallas. Dallas OWNS the Skins. I could play QB for the Cowboys and they would still beat the Skins.” Well, even with the recent ending of long winning streaks, this one holds true, as does my buddy’s statement. The Cowboys again laid the beats on the Skins even though the Skins came in riding a 5 gamer that no one could see coming.

I was defending my bet on Dallas to a different friend of mine, he is a Raiders fan and his name is Mike Grohs (fitting isn’t it?), he tells me “Zim, Dallas wont beat Washington. Dallas sucks.” To which I replied, “Mike, Dallas OWNS Washington! Dallas will beat the Skins, you just watch.”

Damn I’m smart.

Anyway, the long and short of this one is, Washington will have to wait till next year to get a chance to get that Cowboy-sized monkey of their collective backs. But I still wont bet on it.

Number 9

When I was in High School, playing football, and starting at quarterback as a sophomore, I played with this guy named Rich Jenson. He was a huge offensive guard who just killed guys in the interior line. Rich was an All-Star when he was a junior, and he was damned proud of it. But then the next year, Rich came to camp about 30lbs heavier, and he couldn’t run, let alone move his feet the way good guards can. He ended up having a brutal season, even losing his starting spot for a couple games, and at the end of the season, a bunch of us guys gave him the “Disappointment of the Year” award.

Gimme a break, we were kids. Kids are cruel.

Anyway, for the next 5 or 6 years after that, the player who was the biggest bust in his senior year was awarded the “Rich Jenson Disappointment of the Year Award”. Quite funny considering that the award carried on long after I had graduated.

What am I getting at? Well…

I am just saying this because I am getting ready to make the presentation of the “Rich Jenson Disappointment of the Year Award” to one of four teams:

a) The Indianapolis Colts

b) The Denver Broncos

c) The Tennessee Titans

d) The Minnesota Vikings

Tell you what; I’ll let you guys decide. Simply vote in the poll to the right --->

Number 8

Someone please tell me how in the name of all things holy that the Miami Dolphins are at 8-3 right now? They won their last game 21-10 over the Broncos by having the QB throw for a paltry 176yds and their RB rush only 15 times for a measly 36yds.

If that is a winning formula, then I’m Rosie O’Donnell.

But I guess I forgot to factor into this formula the opportunistic defense that the Dolphins have, which always, always keeps their offense in the game. Amazing.

As a side note, I am sooo looking forward to the Niners / Dolphins game on Dec 16th for a few reasons. First, my Dad is a die-hard “Fish” fan (why the hell do they call them the fish anyway? Dolphins are mammals for crying out loud), so that should make for some great trash talking between father and son. Second, I must say that it will be a good test for the Niners prolific offense, as Miami has stifled such offenses all year long (with exception of the Rams). And third, by that time the Niners should be at 10-2 and looking to secure home field throughout the playoffs.

Uh-oh, I’m rambling, and looking ahead of the Rams game… focus Zim… FOCUS!

Number 7

What happened to those early season upstart teams who had everyone (including me) talking? I’m afraid that Cincinnati and San Diego have fallen back to earth, making a lot of sportswriters look mighty foolish in the process. Cincinnati has a good base with its young talent, but they need a QB desperately. San Diego is still getting going, I wouldn’t be surprised if they make a late season rush to make people again take note, but they will not make the playoffs. Bank on that.

Number 6

Here is something I find totally hilarious. What is the deal with the brothers Grammatica and their utterly ridiculous celebration routine? We have laughed at Martin when he would run and jump pumping his fist in the air in one motion, much like the way Mario and Luigi did in all those Super Mario Brothers Nintendo games.

Now we see Martin’s little brother Bill Grammatica do the exact same thing. Honestly folks, when he kicked that game winner over the Raiders, and continued on to run towards his sideline then ever so gracefully shifting into the Mario Bros dance, I laughed out loud. Literally. I thought to myself, “What is that hoser doing? He looks like a kid who got his kite stuck in the tree, just out of his reach, and he is trying in vain to run and jump as high as he can to reach it.”

Kickers… What a crazy bunch they are. I bet you if they ever had a NFL kickers convention it would rank right up there with a Star Trek convention on the “These dudes are not going to get any chicks” scale.

Number 5

Congratulations to Rod Woodson on getting into the record books last week. He returned his 10th interception for a touchdown, helping the Ravens to beat the woeful Colts. Woodson has been great for a long time now, but I have to say this. I honestly forgot that he played for the 49ers for a season (97). Did any of you? They showed his stats on NFL Primetime and when I saw his teams listed at PIT, SF, BAL I almost choked on my buffalo wing! That completely left me, and I was shocked. If someone had bet me $100 only an hour before that Rod Woodson was once a Niner, I probably would have called that person an idiot, took the bet, laughed and pointed at this fool who would dare to challenge my Niner knowledge.

And I would have been out a hundred beans.

Number 4

Brett Favre is amazing, bottom line. This guy couldn’t get anything done for an entire half, going something like 4-12 for 67yds to start the game off. After seeing that I thought to myself, “Uh-oh, does Jax have a MNF upset in them?”

But then Dennis Miller made one of the most profound statements he has ever made since joining the MNF team, Miller says “I’ll bet you Hardy Nickerson is down there telling the young guys to keep their mouths shut. They don’t want to be like that kid from Detroit who got in Favre’s face. Favre is at his best when he’s riled up.” Good stuff Dennis, you may just get this sports casting thing after all. (nahhh!)

Anyway, Favre did get riled up and he led the Pack to a 28-28 win over those old, shallow, woebegone Jaguars. So long Tom Coughlin, you are on your way out of Jacksonville. There are rumors abound that Coughlin may actually end up in South Bend next year coaching the Irish, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see it. The Jags need a change of pace down there, and the Iron-fisted Coughlin needs to go.

As a side note here, do any of you realize that Mark Brunell was only drafted in ’93? This is only his 8th year in the league! Man, it seems like he has been around for a long time, doesn’t it? Just a thought…

Number 3

What a game those Rams had on Sunday, beating up on the Falcons in a serious way. The Rams again dominated a team on all sides of the ball, and they are looking mighty strong. But if these Super-Rams have a kryptonite, it would have to be turnovers. Turnovers affect these Rams more than any other team, I think. Just look at how the Rams play when the are hitting on all cylinders and not coughing the porkhide up, they blow teams out of the water, but when they give it up they look, dare I say it, human.

We are headed for a serious showdown this weekend when the Niners play the Rams, it should be a helluva a game, that’s for sure. In recent years, the Rams have beat up on the Niners and the Rams bullied the young Niners a little. But not this time, both teams come in at 9-2, with one of the Niners only two losses coming to these very Rams (only by four points). Both teams are confident and have a swagger about them, so it should be entertaining. I’ll tell you what though, if the game is close late in the 4th, I would want Jeff Garcia on my side more so than Kurt Warner.

I can’t wait!

Number 2

How about those Arizona Cardinals? The Cards hung one on the cocky Raiders Sunday, and made the entire league sit up and say “what the?” Jake the Snake is rejuvenated, their mammoth O-line is finally playing up to their early season hype, their patchwork defense if overachieving and Dave McGinnis has his troops believing in themselves.

They have a bit of a Bad News Bears thing going, don’t they?

I was really impressed with the Cards (except Grammatica’s celebrations), especially David Boston. Boston didn’t have huge numbers, but he played solid and came up huge in the clutch. I said a couple weeks ago, that the Cards could make a slight push for the playoffs, and I think that some of you may have doubted me, but I just have a feeling about this team, and I still say that they are gonna make a move.

Number 1

OK, how about that beating the Niners laid on the Bills? The Bills played listless, uninspired football, and got absolutely dominated by the Niners.

(You have no idea how happy it makes me to type that)

The Niners O-line beat up on the Bills defensive front and led the way to a team rushing total of 230yds, 124 of which by the ever improving Garrison Hearst. Oh yeah, there’s that Garcia guy, that Terrell Owens guy, and a few other no-names who contributed in huge ways.

Coach Mooch made some great coaching moves in this game, and I liked it when he chose to go for it on 4th down, instead of attempting field goals into that swirling 3Com wind. I applaud those moves Mooch. Another great move by Mooch was to give Paul Smith a chance to redeem himself after fumbling early in the game. Smith coughed it up, and luckily the Niners recovered, but he was promptly yanked and didn’t come back until late in the game. I was surprised that he did get back in, and when he did, he made the most of it, darting in for a TD to push it to 35-zilch. It was nice to see the Niners blow someone up, but I must say that the Bills also did their part in losing this game (Van Pelt was simply awful), but hey, it’s a win and we will take em where we can get em. Right?

Next up are those Rams…

Until Next Time…