Here are the Top Ten random things I thought of while watching this week’s NFL games. As I watched, and as these thoughts popped into the old melon, I found myself describing them with one-word descriptions, and here they are…

Number10

In a word? Hilarious. To what game am I referring? The Detroit / Cleveland game. Did you see Ty Detmer stumble his way to an exhilarating 7 INTERCEPTION day? HA! I have never actually seen anyone throw 7 picks in one game before, and I don’t think it has happened since, like 84 or something, when Steve DeBerg (the legend that he is) tossed up 8 watermelons while playing for the Bucs. How exactly do you throw 7 picks in one game? And how exactly does Marty Mornhinwheg leave that guy in for the entire game? I bet you old Chuck Batch is looking really good to Coach Marty right now. That was truly hilarious. But I do feel for Detmer a little, I mean, maybe he was trying too hard to stick it to the team that dealt him to Detroit for a 4th round pick, but trying too hard would have meant 3 MAYBE 4 picks, but 7? I mean, 7 picks? Am I the only one who thinks that this is awe-inspiring, in a Three Stooges kind of way? By the way, isn’t Detmer the guy who broke all of Steve Young’s passing records at BYU? Accuracy is usually the trademark of BYU QB’s, as it was with Young, but I guess there is always an exception to the rule.

Number 9

In a word? Surprising. Here I am talking about the resurgent Jacksonville Jaguars. This is a team who owned the best record in football only two years ago, but due to cap problems and injuries, fell to the 9-7 level last season. JAX started this season by defeating the woebegone Steelers and followed it up with a tough win over the Tennessee Titans (13-6 Jags). In that same season two years ago, the Titans were the only team to beat the Jags, where they beat them twice in the regular season and bounced them out of the playoffs, so this win must be doubly sweet for Tom Coughlin and his team. Notice that I said “his team”, because it looks like Coughlin finally has the Jags back under control and has them following him again, I honestly thought that last year would spell the end of Coughlin’s coaching tenure at Jacksonville, due to the inner rumblings of his squad about Coughlin’s bootcamp-like tactics. But I guess the age-old saying proves true here, “Winning makes all your problems disappear”. For now, I guess.

9a

Someone tell me why Fred Taylor gets injured very single game. I don’t understand this; he is by far the most injury prone back since Ki-Jana Carter.

Number 8

In a word? Gritty. This one refers to the Miami Dolphins and their QB Jay “Ross Perot look-alike” Fiedler. The Dolphins beat the Oakland Faiders (oops, sorry force of habit), I mean Raiders, 18-15 in a game where a lot of people (myself included) discovered just how tough Jay Fiedler is. This guy carried his squad to the win, and that late 4th quarter TD scramble was damn exciting. Last week, when the Dolphins beat up the Titans, I thought it was just because the Titans played THAT badly, but I am now starting to realize that that Dolphins defensive unit is truly awesome, maybe the best in the league. It will be interesting to see how that always tough AFC East shapes up this year, in fact, the game between the Dolphins and the Colts on Nov 11th, will be a great, great football game (trust me on that one…)

Number 7

In a word? Shocking. The Bengals beat the defending World Champion Baltimore Ravens 21-10? Even more shocking, the Bengals are 2-0 for the first time since 1995? Wow, this is just like those comics that featured the Bizarro Superman universe, where hello meant goodbye and vice versa. I was shocked by this one, but not by the fact that Cincy actually won the game, but by how well their defense played for them. Granted, the Ravens offense is truly abysmal, so Cincy had that going for them. With no running game to speak of, the Ravens are forced to throw the ball all too often (Elvis Grbac threw 63 passes against that Bengal D), and no matter what anyone tells me about Grbac, I still say that he is not the answer in Baltimore, he would have been a whole lot better if the Ravens still had Jamal Lewis carrying the load, letting Grbac chip in here and there with play action, but having Grbac throw that often is all too familiar with the situation he had in KC (RB by committee, throwing all day long). I wonder what “Coach Hollywood”, Brian Billick is going to do about this? Maybe he can hire some of those HBO All Access crewmembers to carry the ball?

7a

This upset by Cincinnati proves just how great the NFL is. Last week it was the lowly Panthers and their rookie QB beating the mighty Vikings, and this week we see the even more lowly Bengals improve to 2-0, behind a strong defense, a great RB and a QB who nobody wanted on his last team. Wait a second, doesn’t that sound awfully familiar to the blueprint of last years Ravens? Just a thought people, just a thought…

Number 6

In a word? Inept. That is exactly what can be used to describe the Redskins offensive offense. The great gun-slinger Jeff George only musters 37yds passing in all of the first half? I have never seen such utter domination of a team in a long while, the Pack just ran and ran and then ran some more on that once vaunted Redskins D. I couldn’t believe it. Things are really bad in Washington right now, and I am curious as to how Daniel Snyder is going to react to such futility. Another point on this game, the way the Packers manhandled the Skins last night, really threw a wrench into my QB1 playing ability. For those of you who don’t know what QB1 is, it is a game that many local sports bars run in my hometown, where you play along with the game, picking the offensive plays as they go. You can pick run or pass, deep or long, left, right or middle. The more detailed your pick for that play is, the more points you get (i.e. Just picking run will get you less points than picking run-left, and picking pass will get you less points than picking pass-deep-middle… get it? Good.) Anyway, seeing how the Packers run the WCO, I was banking on several short passes here and there, but they just kept running off tackle, and it killed me! Anyway, I’m rambling… onto Number 5!

Number 5

In a word? Flutie-licious. Ok, Ok, I know that isn’t really a word, but how else can I describe the new-found excitement surrounding those San Diego Chargers? Already surpassing last year’s win total, and surging to a 2-0 record, so this season is already a success over last years. Flutie, who is usually Freddy Krueger ugly in the stats area, had a great game, throwing for 353yds, all the while doing those little “Flutie-like” things that make him so great, and help his team win. Wow, if this Charger resurgence keeps up, there will be no end to the second guessing of the Bills now-famous decision to keep Rob Johnson instead of the little mullet sporting game winner that is Flutie. Another player that has impressed the heck out of me in San Diego has been Tim Dwight; this cat goes like a banshee on every play and has made big plays in consecutive weeks for the Chargers, as more than just a kick-returner, where he was mainly used in Atlanta. With that Chargers easy schedule, all I have to say is… look out, Flutiemania is gonna be in full effect.

Number 4

In a word? Dominant. The Sunday night game gave us our first view of the Arizona Cardinals, as they went up against those Denver Broncos. Arizona jumped out to a 10-0 lead in 1st quarter, but then the Broncos got rolling a little and reeled off 38 straight points. This Denver team looked better than it did in the MNF opener, especially the defense, but what I am most impressed with is the play of Brian Griese and Rod Smith. Griese’s rating was like 122 on Sunday night and Smith hauled in 14 balls for 162yds and 2TDs. The Broncos dominated the Cards’ defensive line all night long and their undersized defensive line held strong against the Cards’ mammoth offensive line, only allowing Thomas Jones to rush for 65yds on 17 carries. Denver looks awfully good right now, but I wonder how long they can go by only throwing the ball to Rod Smith and not trying to get another player involved in replacing Easy Ed Mcaffery’s 101 receptions.

Number 3

In a word? Disarray. This is used to describe the state of the Minnesota Vikings right now. Their 17-10 loss to the Chicago Bears on Sunday showed how bad things are in Minnesota right now. Their defense is brutal, as always, and their once prolific offense is struggling mightily, making it glaringly obvious that Robert Smith made this thing go. Dante Culpepper is suddenly playing the way some expected him to last year, Cris Carter seems to be losing control of the players he mentored for all these years, and Randy Moss is looking ineffective (only 6 catches for 109yds this season). Speaking of Moss, the one thing that bothered me was seeing him bawling out Culpepper on the sidelines, I used to think that Moss’ tirades were just due to his intensity and desire to win, but now I think that they are because he is a childish, selfish player who is unwilling to let the game come to him. Things are bad in Minnesota right now, and with their next games in mind (Tampa Bay and New Orleans coming up), things could get a whole lot worse.

3a

This is off topic from the Vikings but I think that this column would not be complete if I didn’t give credit where credit is due, and say congratulations to Emmitt Smith on passing Barry Sanders for 2nd on the All Time Rushing leaders list. Dallas may be be in rough shape right now, but old Emmitt just keeps on ticking. Congrats 22.

Number 2

In a word? Rolling. The Indianapolis Colts are simply rolling right now. Two games, 87pts, Manning, 652yds and 6tds. That, my friends, is a team that is rolling. The Colts did basically what they please against the Bills on Sunday, and especially on the offensive end. Everyone talks about the luxury that Warner has in St. Louis with all his weapons, but I just love the way that Indy is doing things right now. Edgerrin James is the best RB in the NFL, bar none, and it just shows you how easy the game can be when you are able to effectively run the ball. The teams have to respect the run, and when Indy catches the defense sleeping, they go play-action and get a long TD pass out of it. I don’t know about you, but, the way that Indy is doing things right now, makes football look really, really easy.

2a

How about Colts WR Jerome Pathon (9rec 168yds 1TD vs. Bills)? This kid is in his fourth season and is having a great time playing opposite Marvin Harrison. Pathon, a Canadian, out of the University of Washington, now has 17 catches for 261yds and 2TDs this season. With all the double-teaming that Harrison demands, Jerome Pathon is primed to have a career year (he would be a quality 3rd WR to pick up for your fantasy team, again, trust me on this one).

Number 1

In a word? Exciting. The Rams / 49ers game on Sunday was a great football game, loaded with highlights on both ends. In their first two games, the Rams have shown that their revamped defense is for real, and their offense if still the best in the game. They have shown toughness and resiliency associated with SuperBowl Champions, something they sorely lacked last season. On the other side of the ball, the 49ers showed everyone that they are a team on the rise, they stayed with the Rams the whole game, and didn’t lay down and die when the Rams jumped ahead 30-16, behind Jeff Garcia, the 49ers rallied to make the game interesting at 30-26. I was SO impressed with Garcia in this game, he carried the 49ers throughout the game, more with his legs than his arm, and he showed some grit by dragging his team back into the game in the 4th quarter. This game had more than its share of miscues, with several dropped passes and a few fumbles, but it was exciting nonetheless. These two teams boast two of the NFL’s top offenses, and it was a show that did not disappoint. Now the Rams are at 2-0 and sit atop the NFC West, and the Niners are now at 1-1 and tied for last in the division. I think that this is a rivalry that will only get more intense as the years go by, because the Rams have now stretched their winning streak over the Niners to 5 games, and are occupying a spot that the Niners were used to having, and want so very badly to be again.