Anyway, as always, here are the Top Ten random things that popped into my head while watching this week’s NFL match ups.

Number 10

That Thursday game was a genuine yawner, wasn’t it? The only interesting story line here was whether or not Rob Johnson would be able to say in the game or not. He did, and the Bills finally won. Do I see a recurring theme here? Well, if you’re talking about RJ being able to stay in the game, then no. Or if you are talking about either of these teams making the playoffs, then no. The only recurring theme I can think of when referring to this game is that, those teams better get comfy in the basement of their divisions.

Number 9

Ok! Alright! Here come the Titans! They win again, and now sit at 2-3; they are on their way back, right? To put it mildly? Not quite just yet. I can’t believe what has happened to this team, they used to be the bullies of the NFL and if you played them, you could expect to get hit in the mouth repeatedly. You could expect a tough, physical, low-scoring game that the Titans would most likely come out on the winning end of. This is not the case anymore, and I don’t understand why. They obviously have lost their swagger, and also, their confidence. I think it is going to take a genuinely convincing win over a good team to get things back on track for these guys, and I don’t think this week’s last minute win over the winless Lions counts.

Number 8

Congratulations to Washington on getting their “Skins” in the win column this week. Albeit, it took an overtime win over the toothless Panthers to get there, but I think the Skins will take them any way they can get them. Has Washington decided to let Tony Banks be the man now? I am not sure, but when he jammed his finger late in the game and Kent Graham came in, I wondered if Banks was even going to get back in the game. But two running plays later, Banks was back in, and although Bret Conway “Stabone-d” the game winning field goal try and forced the game into OT, it all turned out ok in the end.

8A

Ok, now I know you are thinking, “What the hell does ‘Staboned’ mean?” Well, if you reach back into your 80’s TV series memory, you may remember a TV show called “Growing Pains”. It starred Allan Thicke, Kirk Cameron and others as your normal family going through, well, growing pains. Now there was the token “dumb guy buddy of the son character” on the show, and his name was Richard Stabone, but the Seaver family always referred him to as “Boner”. You remember him now? Well, the reason I say “Staboned” when someone screws something up is because that is what Boner always was doing, he was always getting Mike Seaver (Kirk Cameron) into trouble and screwing up plans that Mike had worked out.

So the next time your buddy misses a gimme putt on the golf course, or someone blows a wide open lay up in b-ball, or any NFL kicker misses an easy FG or extra point, you can chime in with the now famous phrase; “Man, I cant believe he ‘Staboned’ that putt/lay up/kick!” And I guarantee someone will ask you what that means. Then you will be able to tell them, thereby demonstrating your vast knowledge of cheezy 80’s sitcoms, and your superior comedic skills (of course, you had better give me some credit).

There you have it people, that is just a little glimpse into the veritable Three Ring Circus that is my brain. Believe me, it’s as much fun as it sounds.

Number 7

How many times have we seen a team totally dominate another team in every facet of the game, except on the scoreboard? Too many. The Giants should have won that game last night, they should have had AT LEAST 17pts at halftime. But instead they fail to get it into the endzone, twice from close range, and it comes back to haunt them late in the game. How prophetic were Jim Fassel's statements at halftime? He said exactly that, as quoted by the ever so eloquent Eric Dickerson, "Our inability to get the ball in the endzone in the first half could come back to haunt us." Crazy.

I have to give credit to the Eagles though, because they hung around, and hung around, in a rope-a-dope kind of way. Then they finally got into the endzone late in the game to seal the deal. How sad is it that you only have to score one TD to beat a team who has held onto the ball for more the twice the amount of time you have? Pretty sad. I am not even going to make a big deal of the Eagles ending their nine game losing streak against the Giants, but I will say this, I bet you the Eagles' proverbial backs are feeling a little lighter now that they have that monkey (and his chord of bananas) off.

I wonder where the Giants go from here, as they have lost two games by one point in consecutive weeks. Do I hear a Jim Fassel prediction coming on? I doubt it. But these Giants had better string some wins together, or they could be in jeopardy of removing themselves from the playoff race. Oh wait, I forgot that they still get to play the Cowboys and Redskins, so they should get some wins there, but then again, after this weekend, I am not so sure.

Number 6

What happened to Green Bay on Sunday? They were looking great after beating up on Baltimore the week before, and I thought that they would roll into the MetroDome, put the Vikings season in the toilet, flush it, and then jiggle the handle a little. Well, they did roll into the MetroDome, but they were carted out after getting embarrassed 35-13, and believe me, this came wasn’t even that close. I was shocked, appalled, disgusted and afraid. Afraid, you ask? Well, you know how I feel about those Vikings, and I am afraid that they have started to turn things around this season. Minnesota finally had a RB out-gain their QB in rushing yards, when Doug “and the Slugs” Chapman stepped up to the plate, Culpepper still gained 70yds on the ground, but Chapman had a respectable 22carries for 90yds. This Green Bay team is a bit of a mystery to me now, with their divisional losses to Tampa Bay and Minny, and their convincing win over the Ravens. I wonder where these two teams go from here?

Number 5

What the hell has happened to Denver? They looked mighty strong for the first few weeks, but ever since MccAffery went down, the only mighty they have looked, is ordinary. They didn’t run well against a Chargers D that was Seau-less, and it looks like Rod Smith is the only person Brian Griese wants to throw to. Denver sits at 3-3 now and in 3rd in their division, while the Chargers seem to be getting things going now, on all sides of the ball.

Cue the Flutielicioius Theme song!

Don’t ya just love the NFL?

Number 4

Ok, in last week’s Top Ten I ripped some people for referring to this season’s Chicago Bears as “the New Monsters of the Midway”. Well, it looks like I may be wrong. And yes, I am man enough to admit it. Anyway, the Bears stifled the Bengals on Sunday and looked very, very strong. As I watched parts of that game, I started to realize that the Bears defense is really good, and with Jim Miller at the helm, it makes this Chicago team a force to be reckoned with. James Allen now has some competition for that RB spot, with the great game that “ the A-Train” Anthony Thomas had on Sunday…

Chris Berman – “Anthony Thomas… FROM?”

Tom Jackson – “Michigan.”

Speaking of Anthony Thomas, don’t you think he just looks like he belongs in that Bears uniform? It just fits, and so there is another example of what I talked about in last week’s Top Ten. But then again, I thought that about Rashan Salaam and Curtis Enis too, so I hope I didn’t just jinx the Michigan alum.

The 4-1 Bears play the 4-1 49ers next Sunday in a game that is more important than anyone could have predicted last year. The Niners and their high-powered offense, and the Bears with their smothering defense. I can’t wait!

Number 3

You know that old saying; “The rich get richer”? Well, it more than applies to the St. Louis Rams. The reigning league MVP goes down, so in steps this little known 2nd year man named Trung Candidate, who spent most of last year out with injuries. What does this Candidate do? Well, other than make the Jets defense look really stupid in running for 195yds 2TDs and ZERO fumbles, not much. The Rams now sit at 6-0 for the third straight season (no one has done that since Curly Lambeau’s Packers long, long ago) and look like a serious contender.

Now, about that onside kick that the Rams tried, and recovered, after going up 31-7, I say to Mike Martz, “more power to ya!” I have heard numerous people groan about it, saying that it was uncalled for and unnecessary, but I disagree. The Rams looked at it this way, they got beat up by the Giants last week (barely winning 15-14) and were looking to send a message to the league, also, they need to practice these things in real time, don’t they? As far as it being unsportsman-like, I do not think it was. Hey, Jets, if you don’t like it, just stop them then! I know many will say, “Zim, you would feel different if he had done it against the Niners!” Ok, maybe, but I still feel that it is part of the game. The point of this game is to win by scoring more points than your opponents by any means within the reaches of the rulebook, right? It doesn’t say to win by scoring marginally more than your opponents, and when you are leading, just sit on that lead until time runs out. Besides, have you watched the Rams for the past three years? Do you think Mike Martz is an “ease up on offense” kind of guy? Also, with the comebacks that Vinny Testeverde has orchestrated in the past, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with any lead over the Jets.

Number 2

Calling the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? Hello? Anyone in there? You go out, spend tons in the offseason in free agents, are immediately heralded as SuperBowl contenders, and what do you do? You stumble out to a 2-3 record. Nicely done. How many more times does Tampa Bay’s offense have to disappoint before we all realize that Tony Dungy’s scheme is never going to win a SuperBowl? Well, now that the Bucs look to be in danger of missing the playoffs altogether, I think that Mr. Dungy and his scheme may be on their way out. That’s right, I am saying it right now, if the Bucs fail to make the playoffs, Dungy will be out of Tampa Bay faster than you can say Trent Dilfer.

I can’t take anything away from the Steelers though; they have impressed me so far. I said last week that I think they have things figured out there in Steeltown, and it looks like I was right (as usual). Hand the ball off to Jerome Bettis (does anyone else think that this guy has the worst nickname this side of He Hate Me? Good, I thought I was the only one who hates when people call Bettis, “the Bus”), play outstanding defense, and don’t let Kordell Stewart screw things up. Still sounds a lot like the Ravens of last season, don’t ya think?

Number 1

Not since my days as an 8yr old kid playing football in the park with my friends have I seen someone throw for a TD, run for a TD, and catch a pass for a TD. That is truly amazing, that will be the individual performance of the year, no doubt about it. Now don’t all you fantasy owners rush to pick up this David Patten, because he is just one in a long line of guys who have one big day, cause a big stir, and then fade back into obscurity and mediocrity (See: Laverneous Coles, Sylvester Morris).

I bet you that the Colts are thanking their lucky stars that they don’t have to play the Patriots anymore this season. I can’t believe how much the Pats dominated the Colts this season! Two wins of 21pts each, are you kidding me? This one just proves that the Colts’ defense has a long way to go, and that high-powered offense is going to make mistakes that it will need the defense to bail them out of.

Things are shaping up nicely in the NFL, with teams emerging as the best in their respective divisions, and everything is going according to plan. The Rams are winning, the Niners are back, the Ravens are the best defense in the league again, the Vikings are lighting teams up again, the Bengals and Browns are fighting it out for last place in their division, the Chargers stink again, the Bucs are living up to their SuperBowl contender billing and Trent Dilfer is a starting QB somewhere after leading the Ravens to the SuperBowl victory.

Well, looks like I got 2 out of 8 right, looks like I am batting about .250. Sheesh, looks almost like my accuracy in picking this week’s winners. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Until Next Time…