Ok, it’s official. I don’t know squat about picking NFL winners and losers. I admit it. I used to actually be good at calling games; finishing second in my weekly pool is proof of that. But now, with the way things are in the NFL, I don’t know day from night, stop from go, up from down or black from white. I am as clueless as it gets, the ladies from “Temptation Island II” could probably pick more games right than me.

Anyway, onto the Top Ten…

Here they are folks, the latest and greatest ramblings of yours truly…

Number 10

Ok, remember last week when I was gushing over my win with my 2-dollar bet on a ProLine ticket. Well friends, the streak is over. I lost it all this weekend, all 4 dollars of it. I placed some well thought out bets on some games, using one ticket to pick some long shots and the other to pick favorites. Well, with my glaring ineptitude with regard to picking NFL games, both my tickets were in the trash by the 3rd qtr of the first games. Oh well, those are the breaks, I guess. But I will say this; I will have to get hit in the head by a snowball thrown by Lucifer himself, before I pick Buffalo to win again.

Number 9

Well, well, well. Terrell Davis is out AGAIN with a knee injury! What a shocker! He is now out another two weeks, and requires another knee surgery. This is a minor procedure, say the Broncos. But if you ask me, I don’t think any knee surgery is minor, especially when they are working on Davis’ glass knees. Seriously, how many times have Davis’ knees gone under the knife? I don’t think even Frankenstein went under that many times, he probably has less scars too! I am going to try to find out the exact number on this, and then start a game, tallying Davis’ knee surgeries. We can do it like a telethon, each week I will call out a bunch of ladies holding cardboard signs and say…

“Ok ladies, what is our GRRRRAND TOTAL?” (In my best cheesy talk show host voice)

Anyone else want in on this? Drop me an email.

Number 8

Woe is the Detroit Lions. These guys are the Bad News Bears (or Lions) of the NFL; they just can’t get a break, can they? They may as well start advertising for Chico’s Bail Bonds when they play (please tell me you get that joke). Those Lions are 0-8, but their record doesn’t really tell the story, because their last 5 losses have all come by an average of 4.6 points per game. If they could have just forced a few key turnovers or actually been able to get the ball in the end zone here and there they wouldn’t be the laughing stock of the NFL. But I can say this about the Lions, if there has ever been a candidate for the best 0 and 8 team I have seen in a while, it would be them.

Number 7

Well, you can stick a fork in the Indianapolis Colts’ season. They lost Edgerrin James for the season, and now it is reported that Peyton Manning has a hairline fracture in his jaw. Without James, teams are going to sit back and wait for Manning to throw into heavy coverage, because the Colts wont have half the running attack they used to, that’s assuming that Manning will be able to play with his broken jaw. Even if Manning can go with his jaw, that is going to seriously affect his play, even if he doesn’t know it. Every time he gets pressure, that is going to be in the back of his mind, he is going to have to avoid taking big shots in the mouth. Anytime a QB has to worry about anything other than moving the ball downfield, your team is in a heap of trouble. I feel bad for Marvin Harrison though, he is having a stellar year, and now teams are going to take him out of the game completely, and with his slight stature, I cant see him taking over a game the way a guy like Terrell Owens does.

One more point about Manning too, I really hope he doesn’t come out with one of those big, long facemasks to protect his jaw. Do you know what one I am talking about? Like the one Kerry Collins wore for Carolina when he had his jaw broken? Those things are hideous, I mean, its not like Manning is the most stylish guy in the NFL, but with that facemask he will look like incredibly stupid, I’m talking Atris Urbe stupid.

Number 6

Well Kris Brown, you redeemed yourself. Not without some drama though. Brown came through for Coach Cowher and won the game for the Steelers with an overtime game winning field goal. I guess his 5-6 day makes up for that 1-5 aberration that was last week. Did anyone catch his post game interview? One reporter asked him if he could do without the post game media conferences, obviously hinting that Brown would rather have the game in hand than have the game come down to a make or break play. Brown responds with this zinger, “I would love it if I didn’t have to talk to any of you ever again, but that’s just me, personally.” Well Kris Brown, welcome to the “I Just Made a Fool of the Media Hall of Fame”. That line was a classic! Imagine the faces of those reporters when Brown laid that on them, man that would be funny!

Hey, if any of you have any other candidates for the “I Just Made a Fool of the Media Hall of Fame” drop me an email and I will put them in the next “Whattya Think?” column.

As a side note here, if I were a player in the NFL, I would love to play for Coach Bill Cowher. If there is a guy who supports his players more than Cowher, I would like to see him. Cowher steadfastly defended Brown after last week’s loss, and that message obviously did wonders for Brown’s confidence. Even after Brown missed the potential game winner late in the 4th quarter, you could see Cowher applauding Brown as he came off the field in support. That is what makes a great coach. If you don’t believe me, just ask Kris Brown and Kordell Stewart.

Number 5

As I look into the future, I can see the roster of the 2002 Houston Texans shaping up already. I think we can look forward to seeing the following players on that team, as their current teams will leave them unprotected in the expansion draft:

- Drew Bledsoe – although his salary may deter Houston, I think New England will leave him out there.

- Eddie Kenison – on a mission to play for every team in the NFL

- Leroy Butler – I don’t know, I just have a feeling here

- Bill Romanowski – same reason as above

- Ricky Watters – the emergence of Shaun Alexander will have his “Watters” running to Texas next season

Don’t ask me why I think this about these guys; I just have a gut feeling on them. Trust me here.

Number 4

Speaking of Shaun Alexander, how about that beating he laid on the Raiders on Sunday night? 35 carries, 266 yards, 3 TD’s? Are you kidding me? This second year man jumped up on the list for most yards in a game behind only a few greats like Bengal Dillon, Sweetness and the Juice. That is some good company; I can see Chris Berman racking his brain right now trying to come up with a nickname for Alexander. That was an awesome display of running against a very, very good Oakland defensive unit. One thing I noticed here is that Mike Holmgren didn’t pound away with Alexander in an effort to get the record, when I think he had a chance of breaking it, and that is peculiar to me. I guess just beating the Raiders, and his young protégé John Gruden, was enough for Holmgren.

Number 3

Speaking of rushing, how about Marshall Faulk and his 15 carries for 183 yards? The most impressive part about that is, it was in the first half. Faulk, coming off an injury, looked amazing in that game, and he also had a legitimate chance at busting the all time rushing record for a game but Coach Martz rested his star and let Trung Candidate clean up in the second half. All Candidate did was rush for 145 of his own yards, and the Rams embarrassed the Panthers by a score of 547 to 18 or something, or at least that is what it seemed like. If Martz had left Faulk in the game for the entire second half, there is no doubt in my mind that Faulk would have broken that single game record of 278, think about it, if Candidate had 145 in the second half, then I would presume that Marshall could have made that into about 160, which would have given him about 340yds for the game. That would have been a sight to see. But instead Martz sat his star, do you think all that controversy over the onside kick against the Jets had anything to do with his decision? Probably not. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was Martz’s plan the whole way.

Number 2

What a crazy finish that was on MNF. That is all I can say about it; it was truly crazy. This game saw two TD’s taken off the board, and every punt and field goal provided more drama than a “Steel Magnolias” marathon. I couldn’t turn it off, even though it was an ugly game with too many mistakes and not enough big plays, I just couldn’t turn it off. That finish should be shown at NFL referee clinics as how NOT to handle things. Bernie Kukar first signaled no TD, then he called offside on the Ravens and gave the Titans the TD, THEN he had a meeting with the other refs that would put a clown show at the circus to shame and called that since the Ravens player made contact while in the neutral zone, the play is ruled dead at that time. So instead of having to kick the game winning point after, the Titans then had to run another play from the one-yard line.

What happened next is beyond me.

The Titans call a QB sneak, instead of giving to Eddie George and letting him pound it in, and they are stuffed by the Ravens. Game over, Titans lose, again.

Does anyone else think that was the wrong thing to do at the goal line? If I were Jeff Fisher I would have handed that thing to Eddie and took my chances that way, but instead he opted to have Steve McNair try to sneak in past those huge defensive tackles that the Ravens have. I didn’t understand it but it made me think, it made me think that the Titans have lost all their confidence in Eddie George, in fact, I think Jeff Fisher gave up on him at the end of the game. Eddie had a great first half, but then in the second he was shut down, and then fumbled the ball, which led to a Baltimore field goal that proved to be the game winner. Can this really be happening? Have the Titans lost their faith in a RB whom I think is among the best in the game? It seems that they have, and it is going to take a big game by Eddie to restore all that confidence.

One more note about this game, I think that the Titans are ecstatic that they will be moving to the AFC South next season, because then, they don’t have to face the Ravens twice a year anymore. Who says this re-alignment doesn’t benefit everyone?

Number 1

What a game that Niners/Saints game was, it was the best game of the weekend. The teams went back and forth, like two heavyweight fighters (only without the biting) going blow for blow until late in the game. The Niners played a stellar game offensively, and dug in defensively when they had to. That 4th and 1 where Lance Schulters forced Ricky Williams into some tacklers, after losing his helmet, was the play of the game. It killed the Saints momentum, and paved the way for us to cruise to victory on the back of Garrison Hearst. Hearst had his best game of the season on Sunday gaining 145yds on only 17 carries, and as I said in last week’s Top Ten, he is getting stronger game by game. I wonder how many more carries Hearst will get before he gets into the end zone, man I think the chess team scores more than Hearst does! I doubt you will hear him complain though, as he is probably just as happy to be playing, contributing and winning again.

One guy who has no trouble scoring is Terrell Owens. He snagged another two TD’s in that game pushing his season total to 10, tying him with Marvin Harrison for the league lead. Terrell played another great game, solidifying him as the best receiver in the game, bar none. A play where he came through was that 3rd and 13 late in the 4th, where he got amazing separation over the middle and got the Niners a crucial first down.

Although Mooch could have given Hearst the ball at the end of the game, to try to get him into the end zone, he opted not to, he chose to kneel down and run out the clock and come away with a sure victory. I hope there are no complaints about taking it “easy” on the Saints this week, because that is not what this was. This was winning, and winning with class, something the Niners have always done, and I am thrilled to see them doing it again.

Until Next Time…