“Whattya Think?”

This is a new feature that will be added to 49ersParadise and SuperZim’s Corner, where yours truly will try to answer questions from our readers, journalists, random surfers, children, zoo animals, whatever. You see what I am getting at here? All you have to do is click the link on the main page of 49ersParadise or SuperZim’s Corner, and email me your questions. I will do my best to answer all of them, in my own way, as I see the sports world through my Scarlet and Gold colored glasses.

And here we go…

Anonymous from Springfield asks: “Hey Zim, whattya think about Nate Newton getting caught with 213lbs of marijuana?”

Well Anon, can I call you Anon? I don’t know what the story is with big Nate, but I think he may have been heading to a SuperBowl XXX reunion party with Michael Irvin and Larry Allen. Anheiser Busch! That is a lot of Bud!

Seriously, I think this is a really sad situation. Drugs are no laughing matter, and addiction is not something I take lightly, I just hope that “The Kitchen” can get his act cleaned up, for his sake. I also think that if this is some conspiracy to traffic or distribute drugs; they should be punished accordingly, as I believe that drugs need to be cleaned off the streets.

There I have said my political piece for the month, now lets get back to some questions…

Jim Dewhurst asks: “Zim, whattya think about Jordan’s comeback so far?”

Well Jim, it is obvious that Jordan is not what he once was, but he is still a top tier player in the NBA. I think that once Jordan gets more and more in game shape, he will rediscover the ability to get the basket more, because right now he is strictly a jump shooter, and that makes him easier to defend. Jordan will drag the Wizards into playoff contention, but it will be a long shot for them to get there, I will be surprised if they get that 8th playoff spot.

Does anyone else think that Jordan looks really odd in the Wizards blue and gold uni’s? Tell me its not just me who is having a hard time getting used to Jordan in those things. I was so used to seeing him in Red and Black it is hard for the eyes to adjust to such change.

One more point about Jordan, if I read one more story where some sportswriter refers to Jordan as “Floor Jordan” or “His Floorness”, I think I will snap. That is a slap in the face insult to MJ, and he deserves much better, especially from us lowly sportswriters. Jordan gave a lot of those dudes a lot to write about in his heyday, and he inspired more than a few more to go into the field as well. He deserves your respect, I suggest you all give it to him.

49ersParadise asks: “Hey Zim, what are your thoughts on Garrison Hearst’s comeback so far?”

I love what GH has done. I will admit it, I was a serious GH doubter earlier this year, and now that he is having success again, I can admit it. He looks to be getting stronger and stronger as the games go on, and this is evident by him getting his season high in carries against the Lions.

49ersParadise asks: “Hey Zim, what is with the curse of the NFL kicker this weekend?”

Great question. I mentioned it in this week’s Top Ten, and this is something that I really don’t understand. I don’t think there is a team in all of football (any league) that hasn’t suffered the agony of defeat thanks to a missed kick by their kicker. Now on the other hand, I am sure all those teams have enjoyed a win thanks to a game winning kick by their kicker.

Sounds like a no-win situation, doesn’t it? Kind of like a necessary evil?

Well, maybe… But I think it can equate to these following situations: A crapshoot. Telling the dealer to “hit me” when you are looking at 15. Or, as Forrest Gump would say, “Like a box of choc-lates”, because…

“You never know what you gonna git…”

Howard Battersby asks: “How about an All NFL unpronounceable names team?”

Howard obviously read my Top Ten this week, where I compiled some teams of my own (All Afro Team, All Mullet Team). When Howard emailed me, he suggested an All-Unpronounceable Names Team; I think that is a great idea.

So, without further delay, here it is:

- Obafemi Ayanbadejo (Uber-femmi? Does that mean he wears nail polish?)

- Marques Tuiasosopo (his last name has 10 letters and 6 syllables… you do the math)

- Chris Fuamatu Ma’afala (he is one bad Ma’afala… SHUT YO MOUTH!)

- Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila (how do you pronounce Gb?)

- Adewale Ogunleye (sounds like a Star Wars character doesn’t it?)

- T.J. Houshmandzadeh (T.J. probably stands for Tnlkslflkdlfkjald Jadlnflandlaera)

- Dat Nguyen (Who Dat?)

- Tshimanga Biakabtuka (any first name with three consecutive consonants is big trouble)

Wow, did MS Word’s Spellchecker ever have fun with those names! If you notice, a lot of these players are no-name guys, guys who perform behind the scenes, and I think that the game announcers are thanking their lucky stars for that. Imagine the color men on TV having to say something like…

Pat – “Ok, John we’re back to the game.”

John – “Right Pat, and as the offense comes to the line, Adewale Ogunleye surveys the defense before going under center.”

Pat – “Ogunleye drops back, Fuamatu Ma’afala picks up the blitzing linebacker, and Ogunleye throws a strike to Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila for a 21yd gain!”

John – “Wow Pat, that was a mouthful! But you threw those names out there just like they were nothing! BOOM!”

Ok, I have had enough fun with that, but if you have any more ideas for All-Whatever Teams, drop me a line!

49ersParadise asks: “Hey Zim, why can’t referees and umpires be penalized?”

What a loaded question this is! Although I would love to see this happen, I think that we will never see it. I would figure that there are refs who have been fined in the past for something, but that will be the furthest extent of it, you can trust me on this one.

The refs are exempt from punishment, period. Unless the cheat or something, the refs are pretty much impervious to all that we can throw at them. But here is what I would suggest the NFL do, if they were to ever start penalizing refs. They cant make them lose yardage, that doesn’t work, they cant make them give up a timeout, that also is pointless, here is what they should do, depending on the severity of the penalty:

5yd penalty – equivalent of false start or offsides: They make the refs do 5 – 25yd windsprints. Can you imagine Bernie Kukar chugging along on a 25yd windsprint? That would make for some good comedy.

10yd penalty – equivalent of holding, illegal block: They make the refs officiate 2 series without their whistles, they have to yell or scream to stop the play. Again, that would be some great comedy.

15yd + penalty – equivalent of personal foul, pass interference: They make the refs do both of the aforementioned tasks, and then make them change and shower in the same locker room of the team they wronged. Nothing like a little intimidation and humiliation to set you straight.

I don’t know, those are just my thoughts.

So, there you have it. The 1st edition of “Whattya Think?” Hope you enjoyed reading it as much I enjoyed reading your emails and writing the column. Be sure to keep those questions coming, and tune in each Friday to see if I answered your questions.

Until Next Time…