Zim’s Top Ten

Wow…

What a weekend…

There was a poll to be found on ESPN.com last week that asked what the best sports day in the year is, and it included days like MLB’s opening day, NFL draft day, the NCAA tournament opening day, as well as the opening Sunday of the NFL season.  Although I must agree with the poll and admit that the NCAA tourney opening day is the greatest, the opening Sunday in the NFL comes a close second. 

I’ll be honest, I get so pumped for the arrival of the NFL season, that my wife likens me to a child on Christmas morning when that magical Sunday arrives.  I usually wake up wayyy before I should (considering it is a Sunday) and get my day in order.  Normally, the wife just does her own thing on this day, because any attempts to get me away from the television are futile.  I normally start my NFL Sundays with a trip to a local convenience store to pick up my Pro-Line tickets and place my ill-fated bets on the day’s games.

(Anyone looking to put a kiss of death on a team needs to just email me and ask me to bet on them…)

Then I grab a coffee, find a comfortable spot and get ready to tune into ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown, FOX’s NFL Sunday and CBS’s NFL Today.  And believe me when I say that mastering the art of watching all three and getting all of the pertinent info out of each show is not easy… you need to be an absolute fiend on the remote…  I have the carpal tunnel to prove it.

Anyway, I am sure you all have your own deals with regard to TV rituals for NFL games, and I am sure that they were employed to their fullest potential this past Sunday.

Let’s get moving with this week’s Top Ten!  Which, by the way, is the very first Top Ten of this 2003 season!

Number 10

“Same old Bengals.”  How many times have we heard this phrase already?  Well, I am not so sure.  Granted, the Bengals did look atrocious in their 30-10 loss to the Broncos, but I think they will be better than that this year (like that will be hard).  Even Coach Marvin Lewis had to know that the Bengals depleted defense wouldn’t be able to handle Portis and the rest of the Broncos, I mean, everyone else did.  Things will look up for this team, and I am even going to be so bold as to say that it might happen next week in Oakland.  The Bengals may not win, but I think they will compete, and for Bengals fans, that might just be enough to make them smile.

Now, as for the Broncos, it looks like they signed the Arizona Cardinals version of Jake Plummer, not the Arizona State Sun-Devils version of Jake Plummer.  Actually, I am going to hold off on that judgment, because it is going to take Jake a couple games to get comfy with his new talent.  In fact, I will not make any harsh comments about Jake Plummer until week 5, and then I will evaluate his performance and make some unkind comments.

Number 9

How does one properly articulate uncontrollable, hysterical laughter in a literary form?  No matter, I am sure many people can share that same sentiment when referring to the Texans-Dolphins debacle of week 1.  How, in the name of Don Shula, did the Dolphins lose that game?  I mean, they were up 20-15 in the 4^th quarter, so why didn’t Ricky Williams run wild and kill the clock?  Man, the only thing I can say to console the Miami fans is that the Texans had never lost an opening day game, so you had that streak going against you.  Wow, what an upset.  And you know who is got to be the happiest about this turn of events?  (other than me…) I think it would have to be the Buffalo Bills, I mean, Miami has to play the Jets next week and then will face the Bills, at which time the Bills could take a huge leap in the division race.  If Miami loses the next two games (both division tilts, by the way), Dave Wannstedt will be out on his ear.

Number 8

The 8 spot is dedicated to the best number 8 this past weekend.  Mark Brunell.  Yes, I am aware that the Panthers defeated Brunell’s Jaguars, but I have to commend Brunell for playing superbly, even after the Jags tried to trade him for a bag of K-balls.  His line: 23-27, 272 yards, 2 TDs and 0 INTs.  Not bad, not bad at all.  If only the Jags porous defense hadn’t let the Delhomme-led Panthers creep back in the game, Brunell would be getting a whole lot more love from the press.  Speaking of Delhomme, it looks like he is the starter for week 2 for the Panthers, setting up two possible scenarios.  One, he leads his team to another spirited win (over the Bucs no less) and sparks the Kurt Warner comparisons, and two, he tanks and tosses four picks to the Bucs vaunted D and we don’t hear his name for the rest of the season.  Call me a skeptic, but I will put my two bucks on the latter.

Number 7

“There’s no place like home…”  Ahh, that tried and true testament to the comforts of playing in your home field, and what could be better than playing your first game in your brand new digs?  Well, for the Packers and their newly refurbished Lambeau, and the Eagles and their brand new Lincoln Financial Field, I think they could find a few things that would be better.  Both squads were soundly whooped in their new houses by their opponents, and even though the Pack made a late charge in their game against the Vikings, the game was not as close as the score would dictate.  The Bucs, on the other hand, absolutely destroyed the Eagles, the score was a paltry 17-0, but the Eagles were never in it.

By the way, that catch by Joe Jurevicius was either the most impressive bit of concentration in the history of football, or the luckiest play of his young career.  You decide.

Number 6

How is it possible that every week we have an absolute yawner of a game?  That Indy/Cleveland tilt was a snoozer for the ages.  I can see the Browns being involved in a few more of these games, because, well… they’re the Browns.  But the Colts are supposed to be a fast paced, talented turf team who can score points in bunches.  Weird.  Payton Manning (my starting fantasy QB) did not play all that well, and I am not so sure that it was the Browns defense that dictated that.  I honestly do not know what to expect from either of these teams from week to week.  The Browns can blow up for big points at any time, and we all know the Colts can score, but I really couldn’t tell you when or against whom it could happen.  I guess that’s why we watch the NFL…

Number 5

“I’m still standin…”  Tommy MadduXFL played another superb game against a very good defense.  When is this going to stop?  I am still going to stand by my statement that he cannot continue this meteoric rise to quarterbacking supremacy.  There is a reason he was out of the league for years, believe me, it is only a matter of time.  Ok, so having said that, how good is that receiver corps?  Wow, Plaxico stretches the field and Hines gets all the underneath stuff and is seemingly always open.  Pittsburgh looks really good at this point, this point, of course, being the first week of the season.

Number 4

This spot goes out to the most impressively unimpressive win of the week.  49ers – 49, Bears – 7.  Wow, good win for the Niners, but as I said in my NFC Preview Column, that Bears team is a bad, bad unit right now.  Kordell was his usual self, looking skittish and uncomfortable in the pocket, and throwing picks like they are going out of style.  The Niners on the other hand, needed this game to silence some of the critics who weren’t exactly whispering their doubts about Erickson’s coaching and Garcia’s back.  Terrell Owens dominated that Bears secondary, and honestly, he looks like he is a man amongst boys out there in the defensive backfield.  Imagine trying to tackle that freak?  No thanks.  The Niners head into St. Louis next week to try to bury the shell-shocked Rams, while the Bears head into…  who really cares?  I could type “oblivion” here and no one would notice.  I swear that this team will be lucky if they win 4 games this year.  Look for Rex Grossman in week 3.

Number 3

Was that the message that Tennessee wanted to send to the Raiders in their 25-20 win on Sunday night?  I don’t know, but the message I got is that they are a physical team with a ton of defensive speed, who still has trouble scoring points and running the ball.  Seriously, why can’t a guy of Eddie George’s stature going more than three yards per carry?  He is over six feet tall for crissakes, so lying down he is damn near close to that.  I recall a time about three or four years ago when Eddie was running over defenders like crazy and looking unstoppable, but then injuries came and he has never been the same since.  I cannot say enough about Steve McNair, that cat is one helluva football player.  Nuff said. 

As for Rich Gannon, he didn’t play all that badly, but when he was sacked late in the game and went down awkwardly on his knee, he was rolling around like he got shot at close range.  Then he hopped up and headed to the sideline miraculously healed.  Ok, either the Raiders have an amazing training staff, of Gannon was over-reacting a bit.  Again, you decide.

Number 2

How great is it that the most entertaining game of the week came from the two teams that everyone has pegged as basement dwellers for this season?  That Detroit/Arizona game was the best of the weekend, and it looks as though Mooch has got them all riled up and feeling peppy in Motown.  Attaboy Mooch, I think that Joey Harrington will look back on the day you joined as a turning point for his career.  He looked beyond his years in his poise and confidence, and if the Lions can manage to run the ball a little better, they may just surprise some people.  Now, that Cards defense isn’t exactly a high caliber unit, so we should take that into account, and I think the Lions will be in a little tougher this week when they face the Vikings and their revamped defense.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the Lions make that a close affair though. 

As for the Cards, their rookie had a great game, but he wont have another like that for a while, mostly because teams know his name now and he will garner a little more attention than the Lions gave him.  I am actually looking forward to that Cards/Packers game, because as decent as the Cards looked last week, and as poor as the Packers looked last week, we could see a close game.

Number 1

Hey, Buffalo Bills, who do you think you are?  Where did that shellacking of the Patriots come from?  Holy man, I haven’t seen a team get dominated that completely since the last time the Bengals were on TV.  The Pats didn’t have a chance in this game, and not just because that Bills defense smothered them from every direction, or the Bills offense marched around at will.  They didn’t have a chance in this game because they chose to cut their defensive leader and allowed him to sign with a division rival two days later.  Not only does Lawyer Milloy know the Pats inside and out, but he also provided the Bills with more unbridled passion and motivation they have seen since the days of Thurman Thomas and Jim Kelly.

That was the most impressive performance of the year, and I think that Buffalo will make some serious noise this year.  All I can say is, look out Jacksonville.

So, there you have it… week one of “Zim’s Top Ten”… hope you enjoyed it.

So, just to recap, here is what we saw in this the first weekend of NFL football:  The Dolphins stumbled, and the Bengals bungled.  Buffalo killed, and Delhomme thrilled.  The Lions rolled, while the Packers fold.  Indy wins late, and Bears hibernate.  The Falcons still win, and Raiders looked thin.  The Chiefs played strong, while the Eagles looked wrong.

And in the immortal words of Benjamin Buford Blue, a.k.a. “Bubba” in “Forrest Gump”…

“That’s… that’s ‘bout it…”

Until Next Time…

Zim can be reached at superzim@49ersparadise.cjb.net.  Email him if you want to put a kiss of death on a team, as his betting accuracy is downright uncanny in its inaccuracy.