For all of you out there who are married and are enjoying a life of wedded bliss, you will be able to relate to this column. For those of you who are not married or in a serious, long-term relationship, consider this as an educational piece that you may reference at your leisure, should the situation ever present itself.

I call it…

“The Marriage of a Sports Fan…”

Now, there are few out there that are as spirited about sports as I am. I live, breathe, eat and sleep sports. It is truly my passion, as you can hopefully tell through my ramblings that I put forth frequently.

If you would have told me 5 years ago that I would have to give up my stunning display/collection of posters, sports cards, replica helmets, mini basketball hoops, jerseys, photos, magazines, figurines, baseballs, footballs, basketballs and pucks in favor of IKEA photo frames, soft sea-foam Ralph Lauren paint and maple cabinet doors, I probably would have told you that you were nuts and then I might have punched you in the eye (maybe, depending on how big you were).

SuperZim and his wife-to-be, Lisa

Well friends, it has happened.

Well, kind of… Let me explain.

For those of you who know me (first of all, congratulations, because I am a really cool guy) you will know that I will be entering into my own state of wedded bliss in exactly… 18 days, 3 hours, 45 minutes and 2 seconds (from the time I wrote this). The girl I am marrying is an amazing person whom I love deeply, and I couldn’t be more excited about our impending nuptials.

(Sorry, forgot to sound the MUSHY STUFF ALARM)

Well, having said that let me break down for you what had to occur for this thing to work. All of you die-hard sports nuts out there undoubtedly have an agenda that you need to meet in order to stay current on your favorite sport(s), an agenda that I can fully appreciate and relate to. Never did I think that my agenda would be altered at all, until this marriage thing came into the picture. I realized that I had to make compromise, as did she. We had to come to a common agreement, and funny enough it wasn’t an agreement based on money or assets or other things of value, this agreement had to be reached on how my sporting livelihood would be altered to accommodate both parties.

Don’t get me wrong, this compromise was not a battle at all, it did not cause any ill will or hard feelings between us. It is just something that had to be done. Everyone who has been married can relate.

Here is basically how we worked things out, so that I could still remain the sports nut that I am, and so she could live a normal contemporary life.

I agreed to the following:

- I would remove the program from the TV so that only sports related channels are available

- I would “occasionally” stop on TLC and WTN when we are watching TV together

- I would limit my use of the computer at home to read sports stories (I can do that at work… heh heh… oh wait, I hope my boss doesn’t read this)

- I would not force her to be subject to some obscure sport, just for the sake of watching or reading about it (so snow-shovel skiing is out of the question)

- I would answer any and all questions (no matter how silly) regarding the game being played without a hint of annoyance or sarcasm in my voice

- I will limit my stops at the sports bar after work, saving such outings for special games and events

- There will be a direct ratio between the decorations in my office, which consist of Superman pictures, 49ers memorabilia and pictures of her

- No corny (not my word, hers) sports décor anywhere in the living room or bedroom or anywhere visible where company could see it

I know, that seems like a fair bit to be giving up, but actually, when you think about it, its not all that much. Basically I am giving up a few items of sporting excess which being single graciously allows, but I would have given them up anyway, just out of respect for my wife and our relationship (but don’t tell her that!).

In exchange for what I agreed to, she agreed to the following:

- Pure, uninterrupted couch potato activity (or inactivity, I guess) for every Sunday during the NFL season

- Religious Monday Night Football viewing on, umm, Monday nights

- Season tickets (for the both of us) to our local CFL team – the Saskatchewan RoughRiders

- A MAN Room

For those of you who do not know what a MAN Room is, let me explain. A MAN Room is a room where I get free reign over all the decorations and wall fixtures that go up within it. I also am the primary habitant of said room, which comes with the responsibility of the cleaning of the room as well – as if I want anyone but me touching my 1992 Upper Deck Football cards anyway. Do you get the basic gist of the MAN Room now? I hope so. Actually this bodes well for the both of us, I get my stuff in one concentrated area, and she can close the door to hide it when we have company.

So that is basically how our agreement worked out, and I think that both parties came out with mutual gain.

Or at least I THOUGHT we both made out good… until I found out that the location of my MAN Room would be…

…In the garage!

Until Next Time…

This column is dedicated to wonderful woman who is my wife-to-be, Lisa.

Zim will be taking a bit of a break after this column, as he prepares for his big wedding day, he will return in early August to get ready for this coming NFL season. If you wish to contact Zim with your well wishes on his impending nuptials, just drop him an email at superzim@sk.sympatico.ca