Gambling Udate: Zim vs. The Wife

My Ticket:

JAX @ HOU – HOU to win

GB @ MIN – MIN to win

BUF @ KC – BUF to win

CAR @ TB – TIE GAME

Potential Prize: $429.80

Recap: I have to give myself credit for correctly picking the MIN upset, but after that, the ticket gets back to normal. And normal for me is never getting a damn game right. Sheesh…

The Wife’s Ticket:

NO @ ATL – NO to win

WSH @ NYG – TIE GAME

CLE @ CIN – CIN to win

BAL @ MIA – MIA to win

Potential Prize: $247.80

Recap: The Wife is getting ever closer, and I think she is on the brink of hitting one of these tickets… and I will never hear the end of it.

Number 10

Ok, if there was ever a case for me to be able to justify buying NFL Sunday Ticket, this past Sunday was it.

The Wife was away this weekend; visiting some friends in Calgary, AB, so old Zimmy promptly makes a date with his couch and TV for the better part of Sunday. I had it all planned out. I had to play basketball at 9am, then I would go out for some breakfast with my teammates, and then be home by Noon when the games start. Then I would sit and watch football all… day… long…

Add into that the fact that I planned on ordering pizza for supper, and it sounds like a perfect day, doesn’t it? Well, let’s just say that here in Canada, our NFL coverage is nothing compared to those of you who reside in the US. So, I am watching ESPN NFL Countdown, flipping over to Fox’s pregame show during commercials. Then, those shows end. And what does Fox cut to? What does CBS cut to?

It wasn’t NYG-WAS. It wasn’t MIN-GB. Nope. Those stations cut to the movie “Mrs. Doubtfire” and “Rebecca’s Garden” respectively.

I was on the brink of criminal insanity.

So much for the perfect day, I should have just gone into work or something… cripes.

If I ever see or meet someone in any position of power for my local Fox and CBS affiliates, it could seriously get ugly.

Number 9

Ok, so with my limited early game coverage, the only game that was on was the Buffalo/KC game. It was a good game, but let me just say that if Buffalo wants to be even a remotely credible wildcard team, they have to cut out the penalties. The Bills took had 15 orange hankies thrown their way during that game, and I would have to think that losing that much yardage would put a serious damper on your chances of winning.

Too many penalties? Hence the 17-16 loss to the Chiefs in a game that they should have won.

Number 8

Ok, did I see what I thought I saw? Did Donny McNabb actually play the majority of the game with a broken ankle?

Have any of you ever broken an ankle? Seriously, have you?

Well, I have. And it hurts. It kills. Dammit, it is painful.

That is the definition of tough, either that, or it’s the definition of stupidity. I mean, didn’t the Philly medical team think to take a couple pictures of their franchise’s ankle to ensure that they didn’t send him out there again to do further damage? Man, I would think that it is the wise decision to protect the future rather than send it out there to try to win a non-division game over the lowly Cardinals.

There is talk of McNabb having to miss 6-8 weeks, and I really feel terrible about that (Sarcasm alert! Sarcasm alert!) seein how Philly plays the 49ers next week.

Nothing would please me more than to see a Detmer lining up under center for that game.

Number 7

On the theme of QBs getting hurt, Brian Griese took an ugly fall didn’t he? I swear, there is nothing that makes me cringe more than seeing a defensive lineman roll up a QB’s lower legs, because you know that it is never going to be a good result.

Although Griese did take that ugly tumble, he had already led the Broncos to a ho-hum victory over the soon to be Holmgren-free Seahawks. But what makes the Denver QB situation slightly more favorable than the rest of them is the fact that Steve Beurelein was standing on the sidelines waiting to go in. Beurelien is more than a capable back up; in fact, he could start for a lot of teams in the NFL.

Look for the Broncos to not only take their time bringing Griese back, ensuring that he is completely healthy, but also for them to not miss a step with Stevie B at the helm. I mean, just hand the damn thing to Portis or Anderson, and toss it to Rod and Eddie.

Number 6

Ok, listen, I am sorry to all those Steelers fans out there because I officially jinxed Tommy Maddux. I have been calling for Maddux to fall back to earth for weeks now, but never did I want for something like this to happen to him. Neck and spine injuries, while a cruel reality in this sport, are never to be taken lightly and I truly wish Tommy Maddux a speedy recovery.

However, before he fell victim to that freak accident, he hadn’t exactly been playing very well. Now, I am not one to tap-dance on someone’s hospital bills, but we all have to admit that Maddux’s three picks had gotten Pittsburgh in a serious hole that even the ghost of Bradshaw’s hairline couldn’t dig them out of.

I will say that the stage is set for a glorious Kordell resurgence, and I look forward to seeing if he either rises to the occasion, or falls flat on his face.

Number 5 - Awards Time

This week’s “Man of Steel” is the aforementioned Donny McNabb. Now playing on a busted ankle is one thing, but to play on it as well as he did is another. With all the talk of him not being able to get the Eagles into the endzone, McNabb promptly steps up and tosses 4 TD passes in that rout of Arizona. Congrats McNabb you are this week’s “Man of Steel”, it’s just too bad that your ankle wasn’t made of it.

Ok, of all the stupidity and moronic happenings that go on throughout the league from week to week, I never thought that we would see a two-time winner of the “Miss Tessmacher Award for Stupidity” in one year. But, we have seen it, and I think it ranks right up there with seeing Haley’s Comet or something of that nature.

Congratulations “No Way” Jose Cortez, you are officially the first two-time winner of this award. Also, you are officially the only player in the NFL that if I saw you walking down the street, I would kick you in the ass to see if I could boot your ass between two traffic lights to show you how the hell it is done.

But I’m not bitter. Not in the least. (Is the sarcasm alert still sounding?)

(But I’ll get into this more later…)

Number 4

Ok, to tune into MNF and see that the Rams were heading into this game without Faulk and without Kurt Warner, a modest NFL fan wouldn’t have given the Rams a Jose Cortez’s FG try chance in hell of winning. Especially considering the fact that Urlacher and that Bears D was waiting to face them.

Well friends, I am not a modest NFL fan. I am a die-hard, you all know that.

That is why I know that even though the Rams were without the NFL MVP’s of the past two seasons, they were in much better shape in this game than the Bears are.

The Bears came into this game losers of 7 straight, and with an offense that is so pathetically ineffective, I would have bet that if the Rams scored 7 points, they would have cruised to a win.

Then what happens on the opening drive? The Rams; led by Marc Bulger, waltz through that vaunted Bears D to score an easy TD. Then, after the Bears ran their customary three plays to get ready to punt, the Rams came back to throw a long pass from their 8yd line to get all the way to the Bears’ 25yd line.

As soon as I saw that I thought to myself, “Uh oh, the rout is on…”

Then Marc Bulger fumbled on the Chicago 10yd line. From there the Bears continued to hang around until the Rams finally decided to put it away and be done with them. Yet another forgettable MNF game.

But didn’t Bulger look great in that game? Throwing the ball perfectly on nearly every throw? Man, Martz has set himself up for a huge fall by deciding to start Warner next week instead of riding the hottest QB in the NFL as far as he will take them. Oh well, nothing would please me more than seeing Warner, Martz and the Rams fall flat on their faces.

By the way, Torry Holt has just been added to my list of “the easiest WRs to tackle in the NFL”. I hate that.

Number 3

Vick vs. Brooks: Episode II

Well, I must say that I was surprised as hell to see the Falcons sweep their season series with the Saints. Vick is really establishing himself as the player whom defensive coordinators will have nightmares about for years.

Forget Marshall Faulk. Forget Randy Moss. Vick is so unbelievably talented that there is no real way to effectively defend him. A defense’s best option would be to try to turn him from the three-dimensional player that he is now, to a one-dimensional player that will make the defenses job easier. How exactly do you do that? Hell, I have no idea. If you pressure him, he’ll run away from it and either throw a 40yd laser to a receiver, or he’ll take off running at a speed that makes everyone else look like their running in slow motion. Yikes, good luck with that.

Now, as for the game itself, it wasn’t quite the spectacular show that we saw in their first meeting. In fact, the Saints didn’t even score a TD until the 4th quarter. This game was not as close as the 24-17 result would indicate.

Can you believe that these two dynamic QBs have to play each other’s teams TWICE each season? Wow, we could really be looking at the forming of a new, exciting rivalry.

Number 2

Ok, when are you people going to stop doubting me? When are you going to realize that I am not just talking out of my ass in this column each week?

What did I say last week about betting on a sure thing? What did I tell you about that Green Bay – Minnesota game? Ahem… and I quote:

“Well, remember what I said about ‘sure things’. Remember that GB plays the lowly Vikings next week in Minnesota and will surely be favored by at least 10pts. Green Bay fans, be afraid…. Be very afraid…”

For the 37th time this season, I am going to say this…

People, I just know things, ok? I know that when something is to good to be true, it usually is, and I know that when something is a sure thing, it most likely is anything but.

I don’t know how I know these things, I just know em. I know that when a team comes in riding high to face a team that is flying low, the game is going to be more interesting than a lot of the experts are making it out to be.

It happens every year, you can bank on it.

Just like me never winning a dime in all of my sports betting…

(Come on, you didn’t think that I was that egotistical did you? You didn’t think that I could devote the entire Number 2 spot just to tell everyone that I was right, did you? Of course not, hence the self-depreciating comment to finish it off…)

Number 1

Ok… here goes… are you ready?

“No Way” Jose officially drove me to the brink of full blown fits of rage on Sunday. Seeing him blow that 41yd FG try in overtime, made me scream out in horror:

“For the love of Christ NOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

(You think I’m kidding…)

Not only did “No Way” Jose’s blunder cost the 49ers the win, it also effectively cost the Niners a chance at getting up a head of steam heading into the meat of their schedule. Had that ill-fated kick successfully sailed true it would have lifted the 49ers to heights not seen since the glory days of Steve Young. Now, since it did not sail true (hell it was as wide as it was long), the Niners now have to deal with the uncertainty of never knowing what is going to happen when their kicker lines up to get them some points.

(By the way, have I ever mentioned the fact that I hate kickers?)

Now, after that kick sailed wide and the Chargers proceeded to go ahead and let their trustworthy kicker win their game for them, I thought that I would be swearing a blue streak up and down this column about Jose Cortez’s ineptitude. And I guess I have, but not as badly as I thought I would.

You know why?

Well, because the 49ers shouldn’t have been in that overtime situation anyway. With a 17-7 lead in the 4th quarter, the Niners should have been able to bury that Chargers team and win the game going away. Instead, they let the Chargers hang around and hang around until they finally got the key score they needed to make it the game they wanted it to be.

The Niners should have gone for the jugular, they should have kept trying to score, instead of trying to keep the ball for just long enough to try to NOT lose the game.

This is a theme we see every coach and team fall victim to on occasion, and it is really a shame. I think it is more of a human nature thing rather than a football mind thing. You tend to try to do things that are safe to keep your team from making a key mistake, but when you do that, you effectively take the game out of the hands of your players. I mean, it is your player’s brilliance that got you to this point, and to stymie that brilliance in favor of safe plays, is to seriously put the game at risk, which is exactly the opposite of what you were trying to accomplish by playing it safe.

I dunno, that’s just what I think…

Another thing I think is that I am excited to see how the 49ers react to this loss. I look for them to come out with a vengeance against Philly, McNabb or no McNabb; this is a game the 49ers will use to get their swagger back.

Until Next Time…