What a WEEKEND! Oh man, I haven’t been this jacked up in a long, long while…

Watching NFL football is enough to get me into a mouth-foaming frenzy, but the excitement we, as fans, have been privy to thus far is just about as much as the senses can handle. Honestly people, this again, is why the NFL is the greatest pro league on earth, and why football is the greatest sport known to man…

Onto the Top Ten!

Gambling Update: Zim vs. the Wife

No gambling this week folks, sorry. Extenuating circumstances prevented me from playing Pro-Line this weekend.

(Actually, there were no real extenuating circumstances, I have just always wanted to say/type that…)

Tune in next week for it to resume. Of course, you all know that had I played this week, I probably would have won. Damn that Murphy’s Law. Just another case of “You gotta be in it, to win it…”

Number 10

Congrats to those teams who broke into the win column this week! The Lions have suddenly shown signs of life, albeit mediocre life, in the past two games, and I must admit that Marty Mornin-after’s decision to live and die with Joey Harrington, is a really good one. Harrington is a tough, stand up guy, and I think he will lead the Lions the direction they need to go. And what better proof of that than by leading them to their first victory of the year over a very powerful Saints team?

A note on that Saints team, while they have looked strong so far this season, we must take notice of the fact that they did fall behind big last week vs. the Bears. If not for a lot of late game heroics by Brooks/McAllister in addition to some late game ineptitude by the Bears, their outlook might not be looking so bright. Now, add into this a loss to the Lions, I think we need to re-evaluate how strong we all think this team really is.

By the way, the Lions are officially NOT the worst team in football any longer, with their win, the leapfrogged the NY Jets and the Bengals to get out of that spot. How bad are the Bengals and Jets? Well, they have totaled a whopping 29 points between their two teams in their last 6 games, and have managed only 6 and 10 apiece (respectively) in each of their last two. One word can describe this: Yikes. Honestly, I do feel bad for their fans. No one should have to watch such incompetence.

The Steelers also broke into the win column this week, but not without some drama. It came down to overtime, and a true testament to the belief of trying the winning kick on a 1st or 2nd down in case of a block or a bad snap. The Steelers had their first try blocked, but they managed to recover the ball, and successfully make the kick on their next attempt. While much was made of the validity of this rule, where some will say that a team should possibly not get the ball back after missing an attempted field goal, I still agree with the rule and think it is both correct and valid.

But this bit of excitement at the end of the game was not the most intriguing part of the contest. Nope, that belongs to the fact that Kordell “Lou Bega” Stewart (the Lou Bega reference coming because he is proving that last season’s brilliance was nothing more than a “One Hit Wonder” -- work with me poeple!) was calmly replaced by the illustrious back-up Tommy Maddux late in the 4th quarter. All Maddu”XFL” did in this game was lead them to their first win, and how does he get rewarded? He gets informed promptly after the game that he will not be starting in next week’s contest. How’s that for a thank you?

Number 9

Green Bay squeaked out a win IN Lambeau this week, didn’t they? Those Panthers damn near won the game, but thanks to “the Curse of the fickle Kicker”; the Packers came out on top.

Question: Are the Panthers that good, good enough to go into Lambeau and almost defeat the mighty Brett Favre?

Answer: Nope.

This game was one of those games with the theme of “Catching a good QB on a not so good day”, a theme that we will see with great frequency through this week’s column.

Number 8

All of last season, I said that the Bears were more lucky than good, and I still hold fast to that belief. They lost to the overtime specialist’s of the NFL, the Buffalo Bills, a franchise that has had new life breathed into it by Drew Bledsoe. Bledsoe is looking so good thus far this season, I seriously think he can challenge for the single season yardage record.

You heard that here first.

You can also here this first… The Bears are still more lucky than good.

I am so impressed with the Bills so far this season, I can’t say that enough. Actually, I must admit that I enjoy watching them. I used to dread the fact that they would be on TV, because I would be subject to more of Rob Johnson’s horrid play, but now with Bledsoe at the helm and Travis Henry looking really impressive, I truly enjoy watching them play. It is nice to see a team go out there and try to score points in bunches, instead of trying to score just enough points to keep them from losing.

By the way, David Terrell’s TD celebration was absolutely hilarious, wasn’t it? Did any of you see this? He went to the goal post and acted as though it was his car he was getting into and starting up, finally ending with his back against the poll in a sitting fashion. Truly a genius celebration tactic, it’s just too bad he used in a game they lost. Terrell, you shouldn’t have wasted it on a marginal play, man.

Number 7

The Raiders are looking really strong this year aren’t they? Holy man, 52pts hung on the woeful Titans on Sunday is a serious statement to the rest of the league.

Does anyone else think that the Raiders are sitting MORE than pretty right now? They gave up an admittedly good coach in Jon Gruden, but in return they received a whole lot of cash and a bunch of draft picks. I don’t know about you people, but I would wager that the Raiders got the better of this deal, as they haven’t really missed a beat… yet.

Although the Titans came close to being in the rearview mirror of the Raiders during this game, that effort was quickly thwarted by quick scores by the Raiders, essentially putting the game out of reach, and embarrassing the Titans in the process.

Remember how I said that the Titans really have lost their “toughness” since their SuperBowl run season. Has that ever been more glaringly obvious than in this game?

By the way, how many All-time NFL record holders does this Raiders team have on it? Someone needs to look into this for me.

Number 6

Uh-oh. Ummm, sorry Giants fans, I jinxed Kerry Collins by praising him so highly last week. This week he looked like the Kerry Collins of old, the Giants lost a tough game to the Cardinals because of it, and they slipped to 2-2 on the season. Meanwhile, with this win, the Cards clawed their way to 2-2 on the season, and have a clear spot in 2nd place in the supposedly tough NFC West.

How different would this game have been had the Giants not been called for holding when the game was 7-7 on that play where Collins threw a TD to Dixon. If that play had stood, the game would have been 14-7 Giants, and may have looked a whole lot different in the end.

Oh yeah, I guess Thomas Jones ISN’T ready to arrive just yet. He rushed for a paltry 10yds on 11 carries against the Giants’ D, while some unheralded rookie named Marcel Shipp (a football name if I ever heard one) ran for 92yds and scored twice. I think that Jones’ time is really running out on this Cards team, and he better do something soon, or he will be out on the street.

Number 5: Awards Time

This week’s “Man of Steel Award” had many, many candidates. But this week, I have to go with the incomparable Jerry Rice. Rice had a great day on Sunday, hauling in 7 catches for 144yds and 1 score, but that alone is not why he earned this honor. Rice surpassed the late, great Walter Payton on the all-time list of most yards gained from scrimmage in the history of the NFL. Rice now has 21, 281yds from scrimmage in his hall of fame career, and for that, he is this week’s “Man of Steel”.

(Apologies going out to Trent Green, Shaun Alexander, Drew Bledsoe, Fred Taylor, Rich Gannon and LaDainian Tomlinson.)

This week’s “Miss Tessmacher Award for Stupidity” goes to none other than Randy Moss. He wins this dubious honor not for anything he did on the field on Sunday (because he didn't do all that much), nope; instead he wins it for his much publicized bonehead move during last week. We all know what happened, so I won’t go over it again, because frankly, it doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in this column. However, I will say that things like this should not go unpunished, and its really too bad that Red McCombs doesn’t have the spine to do the right thing.

How Pitiful.

As equally as pitiful? The Vikings have had back-to-back players earn the “Tessmacher Award” in back to back weeks.

Number 4

Attention Patriots: Yes, you are for real, but you seriously need to address that run defense problem. Tomlinson hung 217yds on 27 carries on you guys in this loss (yup, that’s a whopping 8yds per carry). Last week, Priest Holmes rang up 180yds on 30 carries on you. Ummm, you think its time to address this issue a little?

Although I am going to file this loss under this week’s theme of “Catching a good QB on a not so good day”, I still have to think that in order to make a serious SuperBowl run again, you will have to be able to stop the run.

I wouldn’t exactly call 397yds by two players in the past two weeks stopping the run. In fact, I’d call that, supporting the run.

Brady can’t win all those shootouts for you. The law of averages prevents him from doing so.

Number 3

Randy Moss’ move was an incredibly stupid one, yes, hence the mention in the Awards Time spot. But I have to say this…

Bravo Mike Tice, stand behind your player, man. Bravo. That was a gusty move to stand with Suzy Colber on national television and validate your decision to start Moss in this game. That decision will be and has been scrutinized, but I applaud Tice for having the balls to stand up and justify it to our prying eyes and ears.

(By the way, Suzy Colber is looking particularly yummy this season isn’t she? She has supplanted Melissa Stark as the hottest female reporter in the NFL in my mind. Sorry for that interruption, now back to the in depth, objective analysis…)

Now I must say that with all the hoopla that surrounded the Vikings this week, I thought to myself that there is no way they could win their coming game vs. the equally as pitiful Seahawks.

After seeing the Seahawks run out and march down the field with their first drive and punch it in for a TD with Shawn Alexander, followed by a Vikes’ three-and-out, that thought was only re-affirmed. But I also remembered that Randy Moss has this weird habit of responding to negative press by coming out with gigantic numbers in the following game, so I figured I would hold off that judgment until later.

Umm… Apparently later took until exactly halftime. The Seahawks worked the Vikings like rented mules to the tune of 38-10 in first half, and it looked as though Shaun Alexander was un-tackle-able (Is that a word? If it isn’t, it should be…). This game was over at that point, as the Seahawks just put the game on cruise control and won going away 48-23.

All I know is that if I were Shaun Alexander, I would lobby to play on Sunday night EVERY WEEK! Who gets 5 TDs in the FIRST HALF? Sheesh, talk about a breakout game.

Number 2

I used to hate this when my Dad would say this to me, but now I have to say this to him…

“I told you so.”

(Payback is sweet…)

The KC Chiefs soundly whooped the Miami Dolphins on Sunday, and only because of Jay Fiedler’s mistakes. Fiedler threw 4 picks on Sunday, and I can’t say that I’m surprised. I have always said that Fiedler is not that good, and that you cannot win without your QB being your best player, or one of them.

Thank you, Dolphins, for making me look like a football genius this weekend.

Now, on the other hand, the Chiefs are another team with an identity crisis at this point in the season. They have looked really, really good at times (this game), and then on the other side of that coin, have looked really, really bad (Jax game). Priest Holmes is the real deal and I firmly believe that the Chiefs will only go as far as he, not Trent Green, will take them, no matter what Trent Green did this weekend. Another thing that worries me (well, not really worries, but at least makes me take note) about the Chiefs is the fact that their defense is really poor. They couldn’t tackle a ball carrier in a phone booth (thank you Shannon Sharpe).

Number 1

Who would have thought, by any stretch of the wildest imagination, that St. Louis would be 0-4 after playing teams like TB, Den, NYG and Dallas? Seriously now, who would have? Not me, that’s for damn sure.

Now you all will remember that after St. Louis’ week 1 defeat at the hands of those Giants, I clearly stated in this column that St. Louis would not be the powerhouse they have been, and I hate to keep harping on that statement. But with the amount of readers that emailed me and called me some more than colorful names for uttering such insanity, I feel I have to mention it to reaffirm my football intelligence.

(I eagerly await some more of those emails too…)

The Rams, with Warner injured (after looking mediocre at best thus far this season), are in, as Tom Jackson of ESPN’s NFL Primetime said, “dire straights”.

…And I’m not talking “The Sultans of Swing” either…

The only positive for the Rams here has to be the good play of Jamie Martin. But let me clearly point out that the Dallas defensive unit is NOT that strong, so I can see how Martin could look like a decent QB against them.

The Rams did not deserve to win this game, and I think that it was said best again by Jackson when he said that, “the Rams have to get out this state of denial that things are not as bad as they appear, before they can get better.”

That is what I call hitting the nail the head…

Now the Rams come into San Francisco a team in despair, and let me tell you that a team in despair is a dangerous one (but I guess I have been saying that since week 2 about the Rams), so the 49ers will have to be ready. On the other hand, the 49ers have a chance to put the Rams season seriously in the tank, and I really hope they realize that, and seize the opportunity.

Until Next Time…