By far the best weekend yet in the NFL for me. I mean, anytime the Rams lose is a bonus for me, but when my beloved 49ers beat up on them mercilessly, it makes me even happier.

I haven’t been this happy since my last date with Morphine.

Onto the Top Ten!

Gambling Update: Zim vs. The Wife

My Ticket:

NE @ MIA – NE to win

WSH @ TEN – WSH to win

TB @ ATL – ATL to win

OAK @ BUF – BUF to win

Potential Prize: $179.82

Recap: Nothing really exciting here, folks. My ticket was about as worthless as “Nortel” stock as soon as the Pats game was done. I still have yet to come seriously close to winning, but I feel that my time is about to arrive.

(Doesn’t that sound like every other problem gambler? Only, I don’t have a problem… honestly I don’t. What’s that about a river in Egypt?)

The Wife’s Ticket:

PIT @ NO – NO to win

WSH @ TEN – WSH to win

ARZ @ CAR – CAR to win

BAL @ CLE – CLE to win

Potential prize: $59.84

Recap: The wife broke “The First Rule of Sports-Betting” this weekend, when she bet against the Titans (her favorite team). I tried to warn her, but she seemed to disregard my sagely advice as nonsense. Oh well, now she has to deal with the consequences, where her favorite team not only lost, but her ticket lost too, because she dared to test the football Gods.

Number 10

Nicely done Keyshawn Johnson, you finally got in the end zone. Actually, there was quite the big deal made about Meshawn not being able to get into the end zone, and it was quickly thwarted by Meshawn as complaints from the fantasy football world. But when I think about that, it becomes quite clear that the reason the Bucs have been, and continue to, win ugly. Keyshawn gets a lot of passes thrown his way, and if he only gets ONE of those passes to pay dirt, that means that someone else has to pick up the slack, and that can be kind of hard when Keyshawn is hollering for the damn ball all the time.

Atlanta, on the other hand, is in serious trouble if Mike Vick’s injury is going to keep him out of games, as he is the only one who will keep their team rolling. This Atlanta team is GOING to be a good one, but right now, they seem to be a young team who doesn’t really know how to win games yet. Keep the faith Falcons fans; as soon as your team learns how to win the close ones, and protect the ultra-important Vick, things will be good in Atlanta.

(By the way, is anyone else as happy as I am that the whole “Dirty Bird” era is gone and over forever?)

Number 9

Last week, I commented on the fact that New Orleans may not be as strong as we thought they were, as they laid an egg in Detroit. Now this week they come out and lay a beating on the supposedly strong Steelers. Brooks and McAllister were great again, as were Stallworth and Pathon the only one who isn’t really playing they he has is the pro-bowler Joe Horn. As soon as he does, this Saints team has a really solid “Big Three”, which seems to be the recipe for championship teams in the past.

Now, those Steelers seem to have found some solid play in old Tommy Maddu”XFL”. After some early jitters caused a fumble, Maddux settled in and played a really solid football game. The Steelers haven’t seen play this solid since those aliens abducted the real Kordell Stewart and replaced him with a decent NFL QB. I think that Kordell had better get used to that spot on the bench, because if Maddux keeps on playing as solidly as he did on Sunday, there will be no need for the bi-polar play of Stewart.

Will we see a re-emergence of Slash? I doubt it. I think we will see a sulky, boo-hoo Stewart looking less than comfy on the bench.

Number 8

Ok, I don’t know what to make of that Miami / Pats game. In fact, I don’t know what to make of either team. That Miami team really dumbfounds me, they honestly do. At times I think that they are a 9-7 team, and then they come out and do this to the Pats. They dominated the champs physically, and their defense really held NE to virtually nil offensive yardage in the first HALF. They looked dominant, and they are slowly convincing me that they are the best team in the AFC NOT from Oakland.

Last week, I said that it was the Pats’ run defense that had to step up, as they were giving up way too much yardage on the ground. Things did improve this week, and even though people will say, “Well, they still let Ricky Williams gain 104yds”, but the positive here is that it took him 36 carries to get there. There is also a bad part of that for the Pats too, because if a guy is getting 36 carries against your defense, it usually means that your defense is out there a really, really long time. Well, this week I have to say that it is Tom Brady who has to start stepping it up. Although he didn’t play all that poorly, it was obvious that Brady really tried to force things when the Pats got behind, and he started making mistakes as a result.

Thirdly here, I think that the Pats were the ones being physical early this season, and now I think they have gotten away from that a little. The past few weeks, they have appeared to finesse for me, and I think they need to get back to playing the way they did that gave them the most success.

By the way, this week’s “Dumb Football Announcer Quote” comes from Phil Simms of CBS. He was describing the negative effect that a 15yd penalty has on a team when they are driving down the field after the Pats took a PF and it killed their drive. “When a team is driving and they take a penalty like that, the chances of them scoring on that same drive are WAY under 10%.” Ummm, Phil, just how much further under 10% can you get?

Number 7

Who saw that Philly / Jax upset coming? No one, that’s who. The jags made some lucky better rich. Does anyone know that the Jags are 3-1? Although the Jags were clearly outplayed in a few facets of the game, the one they were not outplayed in was special-teams. ST is a part of the game that often decides them, and in this game, that was glaringly obvious. Two ST plays cost the Eagles this game, and you can bet that the ST units are going to get more than an earful of colorful language from Andy Reid this week. Someone said that the Jags are a completely different team with Fred Taylor, and that couldn’t be more true. With him healthy, they have a very potent offense that could make some noise in that AFCS. Now, only if Fred Taylor can stay healthy… the injury watch for that guy is officially on.

Number 6

Did anyone see that move that Curtis Martin put on that Chiefs db? Holy crap, I haven’t seen someone get undressed like that since my last stint as an extra on a rap video. That is what Martin needed to get his season going after a slow start. It was good to see the Jets showing some life behind the very capable Chad Pennington, I think that Coach Edwards has to keep Pennington at the helm, as he gives them the best chance to win. Sorry Vinny, your time in the NFL is coming to a dreary close.

The Chiefs are a really different football team these days aren’t they? That offense is looking really frisky behind the running and catching of Priest Holmes, isn’t it? I will wait to praise the genius of Dick Vermeil, until some team decides to stop Holmes and make Trent Green beat them. I still do not believe in Green, and it is going to take a few good performances before I start to.

Number 5 - Awards Time

With all the offensive explosions we have seen this year, it is some times hard to pick one to praise. But this week, I have to commend Charlie Garner on his outstanding performance in the Raiders shootout win of the Bills. Garner touched the ball only 12 times in the game (rushing and receiving), but he gained 177yds in doing so. Oh yeah, he also scored twice. Hence, Garner is this week’s winner of the Zim’s Top Ten “Man of Steel Award”.

By the way, the Raiders are putting up some un-Godly numbers this season aren’t they? They are clearly the best team in the AFC (if not the NFL) right now and I wonder when the devil will be coming to claim his end of the bargain that Al Davis has obviously made with him.

This week’s winner of the “Miss Tessmacher Award for Stupidity” goes to the fans, if you can call them that, of the Cleveland Browns. Nice move Browns fans, good job in booing your hometown QB during a HOME game, and cheering when he was helped off the field with a concussion.

Did you all take notes from Philly fans or something?

Not only have you pissed off your only player with the ability or potential to lead you to the Promised Land, but you have also raised the ire of the entire NFL. Do you think this incident will weigh on Couch’s decision to resign when he is a free agent? You can bet your dawg-bones it will.

Also, never mind the fact that Holcomb busted his leg in that comeback attempt in relief of Couch, forget that he is out for a while. If he HADN’T busted his leg, do you really think that you would be better off having the untested, streaky Holcomb at the helm over the purebred Couch? Get serious.

Number 4

Welcome to 2nd place in the NFCW, Arizona Cards. Nice win over the “We’re not for real” Carolina Panthers on Sunday, and even though they had a practice squadder at RB. Plummer led them to this win on his own, I mean, where is David Boston this year? He has had a much too quiet season thus far. Although this team is 3-2, and has had some nice wins, I still think that they can play much better than they have.

Number 3

The Titans are a woeful football team right now. Eddie George needs to sit down for a couple weeks and get healthy, no matter what he is telling people. Steve McNair takes entirely too many hits for my (and probably his) liking. He is going to go down due to injury this season unless things change, trust me. On the other hand, the Redskins enjoyed a nice game from rook Patrick Ramsay didn’t they? Well, don’t get all giddy now Skins fans, I mean, the Titans are so bad right now, I think that the Skins would have won with me at quarterback.

Number 2

How good is Brett Favre? Man, he completely destroyed the Bears on MNF pretty much by himself, and I think he made John Madden fall in love with him in the process. Did any of you hear how many times Madden praised Favre in that game? I swear that Madden has a male-crush on that guy, and if you don’t believe me, go to the tape for proof. Madden drooled over Favre’s arm, he awed over his toughness and he seemed to be in wonder over the amount of fun that Favre has during the games.

And I can’t say that I blame him.

Favre is all those things, and more during a game, and never have I seen one player be so indispensable to a team, and ultimately, its success.

Oh yeah, and those Bears are STILL more lucky than good.

Number 1

The End of the St. Louis 6-pack.

This game was supposed to be THE marquee match-up of the season, but since the Rams came literally limping into the Stick, this game lost much of its luster for the fans and media.

Not for the 49ers though.

In the pregame, I could really tell that the Niners wanted to absolutely bury the Rams on Sunday. Every player I saw interviewed had this fire in their eyes when talking about the opportunity to really stick it to the Rams, I remember thinking to myself that it was going to be a good day.

Hearst was awesome in this game (as was Barlow) in fact; the whole run game was really rolling in this game. Also, we finally saw some big plays out of that Niners offense.

Finally, some fun was had at the expense of the Rams.

I can officially state right now that the Rams are done. They will not make the playoffs, in fact, I am not even sure that they will win 5 games this year.

Jeff Garcia still didn’t have monster numbers, but he didn’t have to. The game was over at half time…

…And I loved every minute of it.

Until Next Time…