Gambling Update: Zim vs. The Wife

My Ticket:

JAX @ BAL – JAX to win

DEN @ KC – KC to win

BUF @ MIA – BUF to win

DAL @ ARZ – DAL to win

Potential Prize: $176.42

Recap: OK, its official, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m man enough to admit it too. I gotta figure out a new strategy, and fast, because I am tired of having my tickets becoming worthless after the early games. If anyone has any tips for me to get back on track, pleeease email me. (superzim@sk.sympatico.ca)

The Wife’s Ticket:

DET @ CHI – DET to win

DEN @ KC – KC to win

MIN @ NYJ – MIN to win

TB @ PHI – TB to win

Potential Prize: $196.02

Recap: Well, The Wife’s ticket was worth more than mine for the first time this year, as she finally decided to pick some long shots. I had to commend her on picking DET to win, but as with my ticket, all of her other picks were dead wrong. Oh well, there’s always next week.

Number 10

Let me present a quick hitting week 6 recap for those who missed me profusely.

- The T.O. / pen thing isn’t that big of a deal, I mean, seriously, what is the problem? So the guy signed a ball for his buddy? So what? Would you feel differently if he had given the ball to some 8yr old kid or something? (More on this in a later column) It’s not that big of an issue, and it pains me to hear it being brought up time and time again just because of Owens’ controversial past. Let it go people…

- I knew the Raiders were going to lose to the Rams in week 6. I knew it. I just know things, ok people? I was discussing that game with my buddy Mike the Thrusday before that game (he is a big Raider fan… poor soul) and I told him that the Raiders were going to lose because if there was EVER a sure thing in sports betting, the lowly 0-5 Rams getting blown up by the high-flying 4-0 Raiders was it. That alone is why the Raiders would lose. Forget injuries, forget stats, forget momentum. The Football Gods looked at that game’s line and said, “Hmmph… yeah right. No way we’re letting the Raiders win this sure fire game.”. Plain and simple. I always say that if you are going to bet, never bet on a sure thing, because a sure thing is often anything but.

- Man of Steel: Mike Alstott – Alstott had his token one good game of the year with that 17 carry 126yd performance where he ran over the Browns like he was playing Tecmo Super Bowl.

- Miss Tessmacher: Andy Rooney – This dude isn’t even affiliated with the NFL, but his comments about women in the NFL raised more ire than a car load of John Rocker’s. Nice work Rooney, how to put your stupidity on the map. (More on this in a later column)

Number 9

Attention Coach Vermeil. Call me. I will come and play on your defense. I must be better than the bums you are trotting out there each week. I mean seriously, if you had even a semblance of a defense, you would probably be undefeated or at 6-1. Seriously.

Ok, I now officially can state that Priest Holmes is a stud. As if everyone didn’t know that already but, I mean, seriously, 14 TDs in 7 games? Are you kidding me? He is on pace to break the single season TD record, and unless he breaks his leg or something, I think he has a good chance of doing it.

Another thing I love about Holmes is that he gets less press than your local offensive lineman, and I think that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Number 8

Poor Ray Lucas. That dude did not deserve what happened to him on Sunday. Granted, he played at a level even Ty Detmer never stooped to, but I think he is a lot better than what he showed.

This is another one of those games where I just knew that Buffalo was going to win. I knew that Miami, Fiedler-less, would be reeling a little, and it would take them a game or three to rally around Ray Lucas. Miami’s defense played pretty well, and if it were not for Lucas’ 6 turnovers, they might have won the game. I mean, they held Bledsoe to 182yds in the air, which is the best anyone has been able to contain him to date.

Drew Bledsoe’s chance at breaking Marino’s single season passing record is quickly falling by the wayside, and I think that could come as a blessing in disguise for this team. Travis Henry is looking really good so far this year, and I think that they should use him more as the season goes along. But who knows, if Drew goes off for 390yds next week, the Marino record watch will be back on.

Number 7

Ok, I am going to ask this.

(And I apologize in advance to the fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars for officially putting the kiss of death on the player I am about to mention…)

Is Fred Taylor FINALLY healthy? Is he? Can we officially state that he is among the elite backs in the NFL? Everyone who knows football knows that when Taylor is healthy he is not only one of the best runners in the league, but he instantly makes that Jax offensive unit among the best in the league. I mean, suddenly, with the threat of Taylor running, Brunell has all kinds of time to throw to Jimmy Smith and… and… well, that’s about all they got down there in Jacksonville.

Anyway, I think that if Taylor can stay healthy, and that is the biggest IF I have ever said in my life, Jacksonville could threaten for a playoff berth down the line.

Seriously.

Ok, now I have to again apologize to Jax fans for saying this, because I suddenly have a vision of Taylor writhing in pain on the field next game with yet another groin injury.

Number 6

I don’t think I have ever in my life depressed the keys on my keyboard in order to form this sentence.

“The Arizona Cardinals are tied for 1st place in their division.”

Everyone thought that when the Cardinals came over to the NFC West, they would instantly become the cellar dwelling doormats of the division.

Well, that shows how much we know…

Although the Cards are tied for 1st place right now, heading into a divisional lead match up with the 49ers this coming weekend. I have always said that the Cards are a decent team, but this year I think that they haven’t really beaten anyone thus far. This game with the 49ers will show what they are made of, I guess.

Number 5: Awards Time

This week’s winner of the “Zim’s Top Ten Man of Steel” is LaDanian Tomlinson who had a great workman-like day carrying the ball 39 times for 153yds. Wow. That is a lot of work for a little back like Tomlinson, and I think he is loving every minute of it.

(Apologies to Shannon Sharpe and Marshall Faulk)

On the flip side of that I have to bestow the lowly honor of the “Miss Tessmacher Award for Stupidity” on Steve “Coach Visor” Spurrier. I read on Monday morning that Visorman has benched Patrick Ramsay in favor of Shane Matthews. OK, this may be a shrewd football move, but I still think that Ramsay is the best chance the Redskins have for succeeding this year. The Shane Matthews Band has long overstayed its welcome on stage.

Its bad enough that Spurrier is stupid enough to sit Ramsay down, but to sit him in favor of Matthews? Sheesh… I think that genius label that a lot of people bestowed on Coach Visor was a big mistake. In fact, I may even consider calling him Coach Tessmacher from now on.

Number 4

What is with Detroit lately? Aren’t they looking feisty these days? I must say that have been very impressed with Joey Harrington’s toughness during his time this season, and he has managed to keep those Lions in almost every one of the games he has played in.

Good work Matty Millen, you got yourself a good one there in “Pickled” Harrington.

(Oh now isn’t that a clever nickname I have just created for Joey?)

Again, I have to say this… Chicago is STILL more lucky than good. Their 2-4 record can attest to that. Don’t just take my word for it. (But that wouldn’t be a bad idea either)

Number 4a

Ok, I am going to STOP betting on Minnesota from now on. They suck. And they suck badly. I mean, things are so bad in Minnesota; I have officially started the “Mike Tice Watch” to see how soon there are whispers of a coaching change.

And it all stems from one guy, and his name rhymes with Randy Moss.

By the way, does anyone remember the Sports Illustrated NFL preview edition? Guess whom they had on the cover of that one? Yep, you guessed it, Randy Moss. And what was the article based on? His apparent maturation and change in attitude. Well friends, has the SI cover jinx ever been more glaringly obvious than in this case? I mean, how much more eerily evident can this be?

All I know is that SI better stay far away from the 49ers when looking for a cover story.

Number 3

Well, it looks like they have got things figured out in St. Louis don’t they? Can we all start calling Martz a genius again?

Ummm… nope.

He is no genius, and he never has been. (No matter what he tells you) I mean, this guy finally swallowed his silly pride and subdued his gigantic ego and decided to get his offense back to the way it should have been running since last season’s SuperBowl.

And it was simple really. All he had to do was hand the ball off the Marshall Faulk.

Genius move Martz, now I just hope you don’t go thinking you are smarter than everyone else again just because Marshall has won you two games in a row.

In fact, check that, strike that from the record. Hey Martz, you ARE smarter than everyone else out there, forget what I said earlier. Go ahead, get back to that same offense that got your squad off to a blazing 0-5 start. I won’t mind. Nor will the rest of the NFL.

Number 2

OK, I’ll admit it. I was officially freaked when I saw Brett Fav-ruh get carted off the field on Sunday.

I am no Packers fan, nor have I ever been, but c’mon, Favre is Superman… isn’t he? 164 games and counting? He’s made of steel, isn’t he?

I have never seen that in my life, and honestly, I didn’t know what to say when I did see it. It was like seeing Superman bleed or something. You knew that it wasn’t right; it just didn’t fit in your reality.

I know I am not the only one who thought this way when he got all tangled up with Arrington in the backfield and his knee got twisted up like a prize winning boy scout knot.

Just for the record. Knees are NOT supposed to bend that way.

But hark! I read on Monday that since the Pack have a bye week this week, they are optimistic that Superman will be able to suit up when the Pack take the field again.

I guess we never should have doubted that…

(Also, for the record… I have to say that with the supremely high reverence I hold for one Superman – anyone who knows me knows that – it takes a lot for me to refer to someone as Superman. I’m not kidding. It is a serious honor. And Farve deserves it.)

Number 2a

Speaking of “Super”, what is the deal with Mike Vick? Is he human? Did any of you see his INSANE speed during their 30-0 whooping of Carolina on Sunday? I honestly cannot believe he plays quarterback. He is head and shoulders above anyone in this league when it comes to athletic ability.

I read somewhere where a fan was saying that if we are not careful, the US government might abduct Vick, erase all of our memories of him, and make a clone army of Mike Vicks. To be honest? I wouldn’t blame them one bit.

Number 1

Ok, that was a helluva game on Sunday wasn’t it?

(If any of you readers are wondering what game I am talking about, please proceed directly to the blackboard and write out 100 times – “Zim always writes about the 49ers in the Number 1 spot.” - Thank you.)

When I saw the Niners jump out to a 17-7 lead, I thought to myself, ok this is a game that the Niners looked primed to win. I mean, the offense was clicking on 3rd down, we had converted on a turnover, and were playing tough, determined defensive football.

Except on 3rd down.

I mean, this is the second week in a row that the 49ers (albeit the depleted secondary may have a factor in this) gave up 3rd down conversion after 3rd down conversion. It didn’t matter the length of the down either. 12yds, 3yds, 9yds, no matter. Time and time again the Saints found holes in the Niners secondary and exploited them for easy 1st downs.

Granted, the Saints are a very good football team, but to squander a lead in the 4th quarter by getting outscored 22-3 is not at all what needs to happen for this team. You can’t win football games that way.

And you especially can’t contend for a SuperBowl that way.

(By the way, I don’t want to hear a single word of doubt leak out of anyone’s mouth regarding Mooch’s decision to let the Saints have that TD late in the game. Everyone knows that had he taken that penalty, the Saints could have just killed the clock and the game would have been over. That was a smart move by a smart coach. And anyone who thinks otherwise, had better go sign up for Football 101 at you local institution of higher learning.)

Now the 49ers have a game coming up against the Cards that is an unlikely showdown for 1st place in the NFC West, and I really think that the Niners are going to stick it to the Cards in a big way.

My prediction? 37-7. And a season back on track.

Until Next Time…